I'm probably going to hell?

Father what was I born to begin with is bets not be born than to suffer in hell for eternity. You know I had no where to go I can't find a decent job, I have no friends, I'm virgin I have no helper. Father why have you forsaken why didn't you open a door for my escape. Why did you make me weak. Who is fault here me or you? It's me for having little trust in you. It's me for being disobient but why do I need to suffer why was I born?