Tbh I never got chosen.

People usually got stuck with me on teams, in groups and such. Last one picked at gym class and still the odd one out at work and social settings.

I did stop trying because making others happy is an endless and impossible task that should of been reserved for the very few people that actually did choose me.

Now I'm too old, ugly and quiet for anything new to come along.

Invisibility has been my life and it's definitely not the worst, but not what I chose.

I wish I could move beyond some of things I was forced to be for survival and care. I'm bored with the bare minimum and breadcrumbs that don't compare to what I gave. Seems though, with my exhaustion, comes a higher rate of lower level rejection.

I can't expect anyone to care about me unless I push myself onto them and show up for them disproportionately to the point of self sacrifice.

I don't get it.

I never needed easy or free, just mutuality.

Just doesn't seem I'm meant for, together.