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I think maybe it's time to start planning my Big Exit

I can't think of a single reason to keep this ridiculous life going. Believe me, I have tried.
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swirlie · 31-35
It's because you are approaching life from the wrong angle and not understanding why you are here in the first place!

If you truly understood that, then you would understand the 'game' that life is and was only ever intended to be about, except you would play it for fun, not to achieve some end-game result.