Stuck in the eternal struggle of needing a close friend to confide in, and not having the energy or the will to get close with anyone.

I tried to accept that I probably wasn't going to have anyone I was going to be close to, for a long time. It still hurt just as much, but it made it slightly easier to not focus on how alone I felt, and the longing didn't feel so strong all the time. I tried to find other things that made me feel comforted. And not actively hoping for a deeper connection helped me enjoy and appreciate people more, and helped me sorta get more out of my relationships because I wasn't thinking about them as hard. It definitely wasn't perfect by any means, but it was better.

It's extremely difficult to feel so extremely alone, I'm sorry you know how it feels.