I don't know what it is that others see?? Vulnerable?...I'm not a target practice!...Yes a little socially anxious around people...and even when correct?, it can influence my decision making, especially when I'm quiet and someone more energetic and loud tells me their opinion...but I've heard too many now!..And their opinions are all different...I suppose we are there to make our own decisions...so I told them that I will stick with mine!...As much as, not just socially anxious due to my identity being trans-female and being hit with questions every day, and analysing peoples intentions. But my medical epilepsy...I don't know?...If I fall to seizure, does it look like a weakness?..does it look like ive collapsed under the pressure?..even though it's not really caused from all that?..its a medical..I'm back up in minutes....I am quiet...but a part from anxiety from peoples judgement....I'm an introvert too...And yes I observe in depth how people change, how people act, how they feel....and not being one to retaliate...I realise that makes me an easier target...Now, I'm one that likes to stay true to myself...if following the crowd is not for me, if "building bridges" is knocking on their door and becoming exactly like them..."a toxic environment"...thats not me either....I have seen people move in that direction..people who worked under me at some point...and I've observed how there be a fake smile at times, like slightly uncomfortable, or like the person be new to this situation..a false expression to pretend they are enjoying themselves, they didn't look relaxed or at ease?..but they are trying their best to fit into the popular groups!....Then they come back, and act ignorant around me, standing on front of me when im talking as if to crowd me out, dismissing things I say...there are people with big circles, and big attitudes..they can be friendly?, they can be bitchy?, they can be aggressive?, they can show much more intimidation?....why would someone pick on them??...they're too dangerous...pick on the quiet one that seems like they aren't the brightest, pick on the one who has the smaller social group....truth be told...they have a lot to learn....I can withstand quite a lot...thats just patience..I don't like getting confrontational...but I have done when things have reached tipping point...and it certainly worked in my favour x
