I Am My Own Worst Enemy
I had the rug pulled from under me back in September. When my partner of almost 6 years suddenly decided we weren’t working. I had to live with him until April. Each day being torn apart hoping he’d change his mind and realise how good we were together.
I couldn’t cope. I self harmed, went to counselling and clnstantly had to phone friends, family and the Samaritans just to get through the day.
Even though I moved out almost 3 months ago my feelings haven’t changed. I’ve had nearly 10 months of him being distant, angry and not answering texts. But then he’d send me a birthday present and card signed “love from” and told me he wanted to talk.
He came round last night for the first time in over a month. I was stupidly hopeful. Hope was all I had. He told me it was over. He’d never said that. I needed to hear it but still can’t believe it.
My friends don’t understand why I can’t get mad and move on. It’s getting harder to find people who will listen. If it wasn’t for my kids I would’ve killed myself. I actually feel envious of those that do it. It would be so nice to feel that free and to stop all this pain.
I couldn’t cope. I self harmed, went to counselling and clnstantly had to phone friends, family and the Samaritans just to get through the day.
Even though I moved out almost 3 months ago my feelings haven’t changed. I’ve had nearly 10 months of him being distant, angry and not answering texts. But then he’d send me a birthday present and card signed “love from” and told me he wanted to talk.
He came round last night for the first time in over a month. I was stupidly hopeful. Hope was all I had. He told me it was over. He’d never said that. I needed to hear it but still can’t believe it.
My friends don’t understand why I can’t get mad and move on. It’s getting harder to find people who will listen. If it wasn’t for my kids I would’ve killed myself. I actually feel envious of those that do it. It would be so nice to feel that free and to stop all this pain.
