April 11th 2026

How things have changed but still the same. I'm caught in an infinite loop. I wish I knew how to break the cycle full stop but maybe like I always thought I'm meant to live life this way. How is it that I still can't feel loved even with my own children? It's because I know my self, I'm undeserving. I know my fractured thinking and intrusive thoughts. On the tip of my tongue and sometimes escaping. What does the awareness mean? Is it good or bad, I can't tell anymore. I want to be better.