the ache is far more deeper than words or tears, especially this time of year.
there are no cards in my mailbox, the phone will not ring, nor will the doorbell. neighbors rush into the cars and leave without a glance or a wave. family will not invite me to their home, nor have they ever come to visit me in 35 years. do i spare myself the agony of going to church where i feel the most lonely and invisible while surrounded by hundreds?? stay home and enjoy music on radio instead?? i try be thankful i have the basics, but i havent felt any love for decades. i know those with physical and mental handicaps as well as homeless who have someone care and loves them. looks like i wont long as i live and breathe. i wonder how long before someone misses me enough to check on me and find my cold dead body.