I feel extremely lonely every single day

Every day consists of waking up lonely and smoking to make the pain go away. Weed is all that works for me and "self-improvement" has failed to change my situation. Success is about the person inside and putting time into yourself just masks who you really are.

Apparently feeling this way is the health equivalent of smoking 20 tobacco cigarettes per day. No wonder people who can't socialize are dying so young.

I wish I could find a group of like 5 friends to just talk to and share everything with. Both genders included.

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walabby · 61-69, M

Whatever you are currently doing obviously isn't working. Lose the weed would be the first step..?

LifeOnHardMode · 26-30, M

@walabby The weed is fairly new actually. I have always had a hard time and continue to try when I feel like it now. From my past experiences and research it seems as though the entire situation is just bad for autistic people like me. I have been lonely for roughly 15 years to the supposed equivalent of "20 cigarettes per day." Not sure if 1 year of off and on weed is the issue. As I said its the person on the inside that matters in the grand scheme of things. You say "What I'm doing" isn't working but would you have said the same when bullying the weird kid in grade-school? People love to take ownership but we are fundamentally determined by talents and personality traits we have inherited. Sadly it seems like it will always be a straight line in the end from natural gifts to class and the success which comes with it.

walabby · 61-69, M

@LifeOnHardMode I was the weird kid being bullied in grade school. I managed to grow out of it.
Concentrate on the things that you are good at. Ignore the rest.
Weed and booze won't help in the long run.
I know...

LifeOnHardMode · 26-30, M

@walabby K I'll try and cut down in the long run then. I might have legit PTSD though for various reasons - doctor suspected it last year. Could be a mixed package imho.