I Am Lonely

I'm feeling really lonely right now :(
Everyone around me is always busy and when I finally do get to spend time with people, it doesn't always help me get over this feeling. I do see people regularly (e.g. at college) but it is not the kind of connection I crave.
I want someone who is like a best friend who I can be myself with. Someone who will give me a hug when I feel down and misses me when we have not seen each other for a while. I want to feel wanted. Obviously, I can't rely on people too much, but even just sometimes would be nice.

I also am usually very open about my feelings with people, but I've noticed that it either bores them or it doesn't really fix what is bothering me. So, on one hand, I want to talk less about my feelings in hopes it might make people enjoy my company more but on the other hand, this just adds to the loneliness. I kind of use websites like this as my 'ranting bin' sometimes, but I wish I was in a better mood so I can post more cheerful things.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

Most times, friends who hug you when you're blue, listen to your fears, miss you when you're gone, don't start out that way. They begin as acquaintances, and that's when you make it fun to be around you by NOT being depressed, clingy and needy.

Most people shy away from those who behave like they're going to need buoyed up every day. It's a drain. But most friends (emphasis on friend, not acquaintance) will listen when you need to vent, unless it's all day every day and unless when THEY try to share, you turn the focus back on yourself.

A friendship isn't only about what you need - it's also about what THEY need.

Anon066 · 31-35, M

@Mamapolo2016 I think this is pretty accurate but really shitty. I think people need to care about each other more. If someone is hurting it isn't hard to be there for them, even if they're just an acquaintance. That's one large way acquaintances become good friends.

MissMoon · 26-30, F

@Mamapolo2016 I will take your words into consideration :)

I do have friends I have known for years, but they don't really like to talk about problems and there is this other friend and we were open with each other but there are some issues there I don't really want to talk about.

I guess I have to keep trying to grow bonds with people.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Anon066 Of course you're right, in theory. It costs me nothing to help somebody up out of the blues. For a time. But if you want friends, you need to give at least as much as you get. Friendship isn't a counseling service, it's a mutually beneficial association. If only one gives and the other only takes, it's not friendship - it's parental.

MissMoon · 26-30, F

@Mamapolo2016 Hmm, it was balanced between me and that one friend and it was working out well but stuff happened and now it's awkward between us. Maybe I will sort it out with her in the future, I don't know.

Anon066 · 31-35, M

@Mamapolo2016 definitely true, I was taking for granted that it'd go both ways.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@MissMoon Of course, there are people who can't sing and people who can't be good friends. Fine to be friendly with those, but keep looking for the gold.