I Am Lonely

I have struggled with loneliness my entire life. I'm naturally an introvert which makes it more difficult to just "get out there" and make friends. To make matters far worse, I did not marry my best friend. I married for the wrong reasons. My wife and I are mere house mates, sharing a house, sleeping in separate bedrooms, leading very separate lives.

I look at coworkers and acquaintances around me with envy. The ones who lead very active lives outside of work. The ones who talk about hiking with this friend, meeting up for lunch with that friend, going to some meeting with other friends. I just get to come home to a house that's more like a mortuary than it is a home.

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iamnikki · 31-35, F

Yikes. Why do you think your life turned out that way? Other than being introverted in nature? Im introverted as well

bobrido · 56-60, M

@iamnikki I was raised to hate the person I was. I had very low self esteem as a young adult which caused me to marry someone I never should have married simply because I felt I could do no better. Many years later and thousands of dollars in therapy, I learned I'm no better nor any worse than any other man.

For me, it's difficult to make male friends because I don't normally participate in traditionally male activities. Most of the activities I enjoy doing can be done alone. I'm not into sports at all. I'm not very athletic or competitive. I'm certainly not mechanically inclined. What does that leave?

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@bobrido Metal detecting. There are groups and clubs. You can find some interesting stuff. Check it out. It's something you can do alone but is more fun in groups.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@bobrido I'm sorry about that. Why did they do that to you? Do you think parents had low esteem?

You seem like my dad. He isn't into sports or very handy at all. He's good with computers. Surely there are some guys like you. Do you like books, nature, photography, art? I like those guys. I know nothing about sports either. When I had a bf, I didn't want to do anything sports related because I didn't want to feel stupid next to him not knowing.

bobrido · 56-60, M

@greenmountaingal I did have an interest in metal detecting when I was much younger. One thing I did consider getting into was geocaching. At least with geocaching, I'd be getting outdoors which is where I love to be.

bobrido · 56-60, M

@iamnikki I enjoy all four of those things you've mentioned. I'm a member of a local camera club where I have made a couple of friends. I was on Meetup the other night looking for local walking or hiking groups. However, there's not much in my area. Where I live is fairly rural as well. Access to art venues is rather limited. Even in our larger cities, we have pretty limited art venues.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@bobrido see, told you. Maybe try venturing out a bit?

bobrido · 56-60, M

@iamnikki I plan on it. It's a lot better than coming home to a virtual mortuary.

iamnikki · 31-35, F

@bobrido have you talked with her about your feelings?

bobrido · 56-60, M

@iamnikki Years ago, yes. All she did was turn the tables on me and started flinging crap at me. I started to shut down then eventually shut her out