I Am Lonely
Am I Fooling Myself?... I am in my fifties, divorced for five years and in a profession where I help people have a good time, I am a giving person so it comes easy, but inside I'm dying.
That happy face with so much to say, the smiles and the humour that go with it are all genuine because I just love to see people happy. I have some really good friends, all of whom I help and care for very much.
I live in paradise, it's always sunny and warm, I'm not in debt, I have my own place and I'm fit & healthy, yet no-one seems interested in me for a relationship.
It's made me feel very unwanted and fearful of rejection, my social confidence is waning badly, I am confident in my job, but my personal confidence is almost zilch.
I wonder if anyone else feels like this? Is this the way it goes when you divorce?
I hate that label 'divorced' - it sounds like 'socially unable'.
I have never cheated, always been supportive and loving, a good provider and (I think) lover. I'm funny, caring and reliable and yet, the fella my ex-wife left me for is just a selfish pig, so I find that in itself insulting and it has a lot to do with my lack of personal confidence, ie: I don't think I'm good enough for anyone and nobody would be interested in me because I must be useless, a social failure.
It's like people can't be bothered with me, to take a bit of time with me as I have done for others so, so much in the past. I am the first to realise someone's sad situation and do all I can do help them recover, I've done it time and time again, but now it's my turn and nobody's there! Funny ennit?
I'm not a fatty, I'm not a boozer and when I'm in a relationship that means something to me my partner is always my center of attention, her happiness is my happiness, I can't be happy when she's sad.
So EP readers, am I a no-hoper? By reading this mini epissle do you think I'm a lost cause, or am I worth a bit of TLC?
That happy face with so much to say, the smiles and the humour that go with it are all genuine because I just love to see people happy. I have some really good friends, all of whom I help and care for very much.
I live in paradise, it's always sunny and warm, I'm not in debt, I have my own place and I'm fit & healthy, yet no-one seems interested in me for a relationship.
It's made me feel very unwanted and fearful of rejection, my social confidence is waning badly, I am confident in my job, but my personal confidence is almost zilch.
I wonder if anyone else feels like this? Is this the way it goes when you divorce?
I hate that label 'divorced' - it sounds like 'socially unable'.
I have never cheated, always been supportive and loving, a good provider and (I think) lover. I'm funny, caring and reliable and yet, the fella my ex-wife left me for is just a selfish pig, so I find that in itself insulting and it has a lot to do with my lack of personal confidence, ie: I don't think I'm good enough for anyone and nobody would be interested in me because I must be useless, a social failure.
It's like people can't be bothered with me, to take a bit of time with me as I have done for others so, so much in the past. I am the first to realise someone's sad situation and do all I can do help them recover, I've done it time and time again, but now it's my turn and nobody's there! Funny ennit?
I'm not a fatty, I'm not a boozer and when I'm in a relationship that means something to me my partner is always my center of attention, her happiness is my happiness, I can't be happy when she's sad.
So EP readers, am I a no-hoper? By reading this mini epissle do you think I'm a lost cause, or am I worth a bit of TLC?
