I Am Sad and Lonely

i just saw a post that made me realize what I feel is happening to me.
the word that describes it is:
evanescent:
soon passing out of sight, memory or existence, quickly fading or dissapearing.
As I have dissapeared from my ex-wifes life. My daughters live too far to see very often and I live in a house pretty big house full of memories ALONE. I'd like someone to talk to. just someone who cares I'm alive. im a good listner too. those who know me would say im funny, loving, a little crazy in a good way, and a good friend. they all say i'll find someone. not this day, not tonight,.. not now.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

ElPhonse · M

i USED to have such a good life,... what i have now is not a healthy existence and a dim and lonely future.

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@ElPhonse :-(

ElPhonse · M

@Loretta78 what time is it in germany ?

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@ElPhonse 11:43 a. m. :-)

ElPhonse · M

i had thought about going to church on Sunday. disagreement with God and lack of sleep wont allow me to go today. that is really crappy of me. were you raised in germany ?

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@ElPhonse Yes, I was raised in Germany.

But some really creepy experiences made it that I reject it to go to church.

I don't like the hypocrisy there.

My church is the nature. :-)

ElPhonse · M

church saves no one. priests have no power to save nor do sisters or bishops or even the pope. he is only a man. i dont agree with those who worship hinm either. we are ONLY supposed to worship God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. no one else can save us nor judge us. Also I am Christian and I know I can call out to them wherever I am. a church is simply a place we sit or stand when we worship, praise or learn about Gods word. and NO ONE in a true Christian church will allow others to worship them. even the apostle Peter would not wear a fancy ring and allow you to kiss it. he who HIMSELF walked with Jesus did NOT live in a HUGE fancy palace. Religion and church save NO ONE. i have not gone in over a year because i am resisting Gods will. he obviously does not want my wife to return to me but I cant remove her from my heart, I am disobeying Him and until I can bring myself to accept His will, I cannot return to worship with other people.