My ex was satan - and I should've listen to the warnings..
His colleagues literally called him Satan, but then also loved him and he was the best..
He was my first real boyfriend, and used that against me in everything, "you don't know what love is", "you don't know how to be in a relationship", "you don't act like you love me".
My anxiety was on high alert for 3 years..
He would make up fake profiles to contact me and bring me down, just so he could isolate me and "save me".
He made up a story that a gang threatened to hurt him by hurting me. He told me that they had contacted him saying that they knew where I lived, worked, what time I walked home alone and it would be unfortunate if something happened to me. So I had to stay home, or with him at all times.
He would push me to meet friends, then would start a fight, and use that fight to ruin my friendships. Telling me to not even mention their name cause that would make him angry all over again.
I wasn't allowed to leave the house without telling him, and somehow he always knew when I did, even if I just walked to the store.
I couldn't wear nail-polish, cause only sluts do their nails. I couldn't wear makeup without his permission, I couldn't dress nice or wear heels.
He once bought me a short dress, and I hesitated cause I knew him, but he insisted. Then when I wanted to wear it, he lashed out at me and said he would be embarrassed to be seen with me.
He would always buy me expensive things, and then tell me to be happy with it, but I didn't want expensive things.. Like "I bought you all this, so you shouldn't complain when I harm you"..
He would try to scare me several times, by raising his hand at me, make me flinch, walk me into a wall, then laugh at me for reacting. He also told me I should fear him, but he loved me too much to hurt me ofc..
He would show up at my job and laugh with friends and my colleagues but ice me out, not telling me what I did wrong or why he was doing so, it was just all mental games to break me down.
He got me fired from a job, and at my second job he almost got me in trouble when I told him I was a bit scared and wanted him to walk me home, but instead he confronted the men that I was scared of and made a huge scene. Thankfully my boss told them to leave, and defended me.
He would make up games to physically hurt me, and when I got hurt he would get angry at me for not taking a joke, or "overreacting". Then would tell me to cover up bruises cause he didn't want people to think he was abusing me or anything.
At my birthday, I wanted to go out for lunch with a girlfriend, and he made a big deal about it and made me stay home alone instead, until he got back from work.
He once slammed me into a closet and then threw me on the bed, pulled the cover over me and started punching the covers (me), then laughed and said he was just joking, I couldn't breath.
He came home once all bloody after breaking some guys nose, then turned to me and told me I would be next if I didn't act right. as a joke ofc.
He would sexually abuse me, and if I ever told him he was hurting me he would cover my mouth or tell me to shut up.
But then when I tried to leave, he would suddenly talk about unaliving himself. Or somehow make me feel guilty for even thinking about it. He never admitted to hurting me, and would often tell me that any other man would've beaten the life out of me, that his friends beat their girls but he would never hurt me.
We broke up once for 3 weeks, during those 3 weeks I went out with my step sister, I was raped by a "friend". and I told him about it.
He used that against me anytime I talked about breaking up, saying if I leave I'll end up like that again. Nobody will ever love me.
I finally left after 3 years.
I then spent the whole summer in Turkey, just to stay far enough away from him to not fall back.
When I came back home I booked a one way ticket and left the country. 6 months later he came to visit me, I let him stay with me as "friends", he asked me to come back home, said he wanted to get married, I said no.
There's so much more I could add. Just done feeling bad.
To make it clear, he was the best and worst thing to happen to me at the time.
He would frequently push me down only to be the one to bring me back up again.
He even used my dead dad against me, saying he had a dream about him telling him to take care of me, but he can't do that if I leave him. Knowing that I was grieving.
He was my first real boyfriend, and used that against me in everything, "you don't know what love is", "you don't know how to be in a relationship", "you don't act like you love me".
My anxiety was on high alert for 3 years..
He would make up fake profiles to contact me and bring me down, just so he could isolate me and "save me".
He made up a story that a gang threatened to hurt him by hurting me. He told me that they had contacted him saying that they knew where I lived, worked, what time I walked home alone and it would be unfortunate if something happened to me. So I had to stay home, or with him at all times.
He would push me to meet friends, then would start a fight, and use that fight to ruin my friendships. Telling me to not even mention their name cause that would make him angry all over again.
I wasn't allowed to leave the house without telling him, and somehow he always knew when I did, even if I just walked to the store.
I couldn't wear nail-polish, cause only sluts do their nails. I couldn't wear makeup without his permission, I couldn't dress nice or wear heels.
He once bought me a short dress, and I hesitated cause I knew him, but he insisted. Then when I wanted to wear it, he lashed out at me and said he would be embarrassed to be seen with me.
He would always buy me expensive things, and then tell me to be happy with it, but I didn't want expensive things.. Like "I bought you all this, so you shouldn't complain when I harm you"..
He would try to scare me several times, by raising his hand at me, make me flinch, walk me into a wall, then laugh at me for reacting. He also told me I should fear him, but he loved me too much to hurt me ofc..
He would show up at my job and laugh with friends and my colleagues but ice me out, not telling me what I did wrong or why he was doing so, it was just all mental games to break me down.
He got me fired from a job, and at my second job he almost got me in trouble when I told him I was a bit scared and wanted him to walk me home, but instead he confronted the men that I was scared of and made a huge scene. Thankfully my boss told them to leave, and defended me.
He would make up games to physically hurt me, and when I got hurt he would get angry at me for not taking a joke, or "overreacting". Then would tell me to cover up bruises cause he didn't want people to think he was abusing me or anything.
At my birthday, I wanted to go out for lunch with a girlfriend, and he made a big deal about it and made me stay home alone instead, until he got back from work.
He once slammed me into a closet and then threw me on the bed, pulled the cover over me and started punching the covers (me), then laughed and said he was just joking, I couldn't breath.
He came home once all bloody after breaking some guys nose, then turned to me and told me I would be next if I didn't act right. as a joke ofc.
He would sexually abuse me, and if I ever told him he was hurting me he would cover my mouth or tell me to shut up.
But then when I tried to leave, he would suddenly talk about unaliving himself. Or somehow make me feel guilty for even thinking about it. He never admitted to hurting me, and would often tell me that any other man would've beaten the life out of me, that his friends beat their girls but he would never hurt me.
We broke up once for 3 weeks, during those 3 weeks I went out with my step sister, I was raped by a "friend". and I told him about it.
He used that against me anytime I talked about breaking up, saying if I leave I'll end up like that again. Nobody will ever love me.
I finally left after 3 years.
I then spent the whole summer in Turkey, just to stay far enough away from him to not fall back.
When I came back home I booked a one way ticket and left the country. 6 months later he came to visit me, I let him stay with me as "friends", he asked me to come back home, said he wanted to get married, I said no.
There's so much more I could add. Just done feeling bad.
To make it clear, he was the best and worst thing to happen to me at the time.
He would frequently push me down only to be the one to bring me back up again.
He even used my dead dad against me, saying he had a dream about him telling him to take care of me, but he can't do that if I leave him. Knowing that I was grieving.
