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Why am I so emotional 🥺

The last days I haven't been able to unsee the video of Iryna, and I'm not sure how many times I've cried over it.

So many people in my "community" is hard core pro-pal and a lot of people diminish others pain because of what's happening daily in Gaza (not saying everyone - but there's definitely some people).

But I grieve for everyone and everything, i can't turn of my emotions, and it's draining me.
I saw someone stating that nobody who's fully invested in Palestine and been following daily (seeing people being unalived daily), will be shocked to see one person being unalived in another country. And for me that's not true.

I think the reason I've had such a hard time with this case, is because she reminds me of myself when I was 23. At 22 I traveled to Turkey, and stayed the whole summer, then at 23 I packed my stuff and moved countries in hopes for a better life (I was running away from my trauma and people). I was naive, I got hurt, taken advantage off and it took me a long time to learn how to stand up for myself or "bother people".

Seeing her crying to herself, passing away by herself, broke my heart. Seeing that she was just trying to get home from work, and a random man decided to take her life is scary. She was doing something that I do almost daily (taking public transport). The man then said "I got the white girl" or something while walking around with blood dripping everywhere.

When I shared about it, and tagged people (like I usually do - and usually most people reshare or at least a few of them do), not a single person reshared or said a thing. And that bothers me. It shouldn't, I should just ignore it, move on, but I can't get rid of the feeling that if that was me, nobody would speak up.

It's annoying to care this much about things that clearly "nobody" else cares about. But I can't stop myself either. I feel alone tho.
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I purposely didn't watch the video because I knew I would get obsessed with it. "Obsessed" meaning in a heartbroken way.

There are those of us who can see that stuff and move on. Some of us (like me for sure) have to shield our eyes.

If anything like that happened to anyone around me, or especially to you, Cassie, my self preservation would go out the window. I wouldn't ignore you. I care about you.

I care about that woman, too, needless to say.
Cassieeee · 31-35, F
@SinlessOnslaught You shouldn't either, honestly, it's better to protect yourself from seeing it. I can't get it out of my mind now it's heartbreaking
@Cassieeee Yeah I wasn't saying anything about anyone but myself. I know I won't be able to see that without unseeing it.

I'm sorry you saw it. It must be horrible.