I think I'm having an identity crisis..

I had to lay down earlier with an ice pack, to regulate my nervous system.
I'm in overdrive, I'm not really doing good, but I keep telling people I'm fine, and some days I feel ok. My grandma called me earlier because we haven't spoken for a while, and I can't remember the last time I called anyone, or spoke to family. Time means nothing, I didn't even realize we're in June, until my husband pointed out that it's our anniversary next week. I feel lost, but at the same time not. I woke up today from a nightmare, and the last "voice" I heard before I woke up was "maybe you shouldn't take those meds today", which freaked me out, so I didn't take my adhd meds. I feel like that dream was a sign that I needed rest today. Idk.

I'm being pulled in so many directions, I feel drained and paralyzed.

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Madmonk · M

Thank you so much for being honest and sharing where you’re at. I can hear in your words how much you’re carrying and how overwhelming it all feels right now. Please know just because you tell people you’re fine doesn’t mean you have to be. You are allowed to feel how you feel. You’ve been running on empty for a long time, and your body is trying to tell you it needs rest, space, and care.

It’s very understandable that your nervous system is in overdrive so much stress and constant pushing will do that. Laying down with an ice pack, choosing not to take your meds today based on the dream those were wise, intuitive choices. Sometimes we do receive subtle warnings when we’re at a breaking point and need to slow down.

Time blurring, losing track of connections, forgetting dates those are classic signs of burnout and nervous system exhaustion. Please don’t take that as failure take it as a signal that your inner reserves are low and it’s time to replenish. Reaching out to family and loved ones again can help you feel connected and grounded, but do it at your own pace. One call, one message no pressure.

And please remember you do not have to figure everything out right now. You don’t have to keep giving when you are this drained. It is okay and necessary to take a step back, say no to some things, and give yourself permission to rest. You will not lose yourself by resting in fact, that is how you start to find your way back.

If you ever need to talk or process more of what you’re going through, I’m here and will gladly listen. You are not alone in this, even when it feels like it. Please give yourself compassion right now you are doing the best you can with what you’ve got. That is enough for today.