Have you ever felt like you're going to die?

I've been so happy all day, and all of a sudden I got a flashback, and before I knew it 1 hour had past.


I called the cops when I was 13/14, and it led to my "ex" punching me, stalking me, he tried to cut my hair of saying "I'll make sure no other guy wants her", then threatened to kill me, then tried to stab me with the same knife saying that I was going to die. I didn't even want to be with him in the first place, only said yes cause our "friend" threatened me into giving him a chance. I know I've shared this before..

But I don't think I've shared about the other thing that unfolded after I called the cops. One of the guys came to my house a while later with his big brother and like 4 other guys. Luckily my intuition told me to look out the window, so I did, and I then heard them talking about me before ringing the door bell. His big brother said "Just get her to come outside, I'll fix the rest"🙃 Not sure what exactly he planned on doing, but I'm sure it wasn't anything good.. I'm happy that I followed my intuition and looked, cause I probably would've gone outside to chat if not..

Worst part is, that the police called it flirting when these 3 guys tried to break my window to get in. So they didn't even do anything and I got in so much trouble for it 🙃

Never trusted the police again. Never called them again. Never told anyone what was going on. Just kept all my fear inside, until I collapsed and almost dropped out of school because of panic attacks. Thankfully I got therapy, and then I was sent to a new school for troubled kids, which felt safe for a moment 🙃

I hate all these flashbacks.. I've had so many lately.