seeing my new doctor next week
Ugh, I feel like I'm just being pushed around the system from one therapist to another - to one doctor then another..
Since I started therapy in 2021, I first saw one psychotherapist, then I was sent to another one for treatment, then I was sent to meet another doctor for evaluation, then my psychotherapist quit and I was sent to a psychologist for a new treatment, then we finally had an evaluation for adhd, and then I was sent to another doctor for meds, and now they had to cancel my therapy because I've been there longer than what they usually allows, but I'm still in the system because I'm not done testing my adhd meds, and when you start those you need to be regularly checked on. But the doctor I started with quit, so now I'm getting another one again...
Meanwhile my regular doctor is trying to find new meds and work with my "adhd doctor" because the meds are giving me side effects that I'm not happy with, so I feel like just stopping it all, but when I was on vacation and forgot all my meds I found out that It's probably not the right time to stop them. AND my last doctor said that I shouldn't stop the meds I'm on for my C-PTSD regardless of side effects because they do work and I might "relapse".
I miss my therapist.. I miss having someone to talk to and get reassurance from.
The last week's been so hard emotionally, and I feel like I keep taking deep breaths without getting enough oxygen. I try to explain what I'm feeling, but I don't even know myself, it's just chaos.
It feels like my thoughts are going by so fast that I can't catch them fast enough to actually know what I'm thinking about, it's just endless chaos with moments of clarity, I'm so stressed out and drained.
I have a lot of plans next month, and I have to finish my bachelor which is due next month, but I'm so far behind it feels impossible.
Also I feel like all the treatment I had was pointless, because of my undiagnosed adhd, which my psychologist agrees on (she don't think it was pointless, but that I would have better effects if my adhd was treated first), and she thinks that I should now find meds that works, then maybe come back for adhd "treatment" which is basically group therapy, and then If I still have the same problems or feel like I need it, I should come back for trauma therapy again.
I'm just done.
I feel like breaking down, but I have work in a few hours and a bachelor to write, so I don't have time for this..
Also this escalated quickly, I was supposed to write that I'm seeing my new doctor next week, so just ignore the rest.馃ス
Since I started therapy in 2021, I first saw one psychotherapist, then I was sent to another one for treatment, then I was sent to meet another doctor for evaluation, then my psychotherapist quit and I was sent to a psychologist for a new treatment, then we finally had an evaluation for adhd, and then I was sent to another doctor for meds, and now they had to cancel my therapy because I've been there longer than what they usually allows, but I'm still in the system because I'm not done testing my adhd meds, and when you start those you need to be regularly checked on. But the doctor I started with quit, so now I'm getting another one again...
Meanwhile my regular doctor is trying to find new meds and work with my "adhd doctor" because the meds are giving me side effects that I'm not happy with, so I feel like just stopping it all, but when I was on vacation and forgot all my meds I found out that It's probably not the right time to stop them. AND my last doctor said that I shouldn't stop the meds I'm on for my C-PTSD regardless of side effects because they do work and I might "relapse".
I miss my therapist.. I miss having someone to talk to and get reassurance from.
The last week's been so hard emotionally, and I feel like I keep taking deep breaths without getting enough oxygen. I try to explain what I'm feeling, but I don't even know myself, it's just chaos.
It feels like my thoughts are going by so fast that I can't catch them fast enough to actually know what I'm thinking about, it's just endless chaos with moments of clarity, I'm so stressed out and drained.
I have a lot of plans next month, and I have to finish my bachelor which is due next month, but I'm so far behind it feels impossible.
Also I feel like all the treatment I had was pointless, because of my undiagnosed adhd, which my psychologist agrees on (she don't think it was pointless, but that I would have better effects if my adhd was treated first), and she thinks that I should now find meds that works, then maybe come back for adhd "treatment" which is basically group therapy, and then If I still have the same problems or feel like I need it, I should come back for trauma therapy again.
I'm just done.
I feel like breaking down, but I have work in a few hours and a bachelor to write, so I don't have time for this..
Also this escalated quickly, I was supposed to write that I'm seeing my new doctor next week, so just ignore the rest.馃ス
