I can’t sleep

I only slept 3hrs and now I’m wide awake 🥹

My brain is a “funny” place lol

Like my ex’s sister said we need to travel together, and I said yes. When I speak with her I feel bad for hating her brother and I’m like “maybe it wasn’t that bad? Maybe I’m overreacting”.

Then I remember all the things he said and did and I’m like “oh wait..” 🥹

I also sometimes forget how bad things have been until I tell someone and they look at me like I’m crazy..

It’s the small things he did that I never thought of as abuse..

Like I wasn’t allowed to wear nail polish cause only whores do that.
No makeup cause again, hoe.
He would tell me to meet my friends, then make a big deal about it and use that against me to ruin my friendships little by little.
He would scare me into a corner and raise his hand to hit me, and when he saw that I got scared or cried he would play it off like I was being stupid for thinking he would hit me.
He once slammed me into the wall, threw me on the bed and pulled the cover over me then punched my body. All as a joke for not making him a sandwich while his friend was there.

The list is long 🥲