Read Mon, Sept. 1, 2025
Assuming we make it 19 days into the future.
No matter what happens this Friday, remember you have value. You have some worth. You have other things to live for. Remember there can be days like today, when feeling good can come from other people - not just him. You probably already forgot - today someone thought we were 25. Whether that was real or just a play, it felt good anyway right? Feeling good...it won't always feel like an exercise. Who am I kidding? That sounds too optimistic for the both of us. Nothing much will change in 19 days. Feeling good will still be hard work. But keep at it. Remember you have a goal.
A goal that's independent of him. A goal that's worth pursuing and living for. You have to give yourself a chance to bloom. You have to be alive for that to happen. You've worked so hard to just get to this point. You've struggled for so long...don't let it be for nothing. You still have potential energy. Better to burn out than fade away, right...? So burn away.
Hyperfocus your way through this heartbreak. It's what's going to get you through; it's what's going to keep you moving. See to do list item notes for ideas. Try time blocking all of these things. It's ok if you don't or aren't successful again with the time blocking. The point is to preoccupy your mind with something else other than constantly ruminating on and marinating in the pain.
On the pain. Give it the moments it deserves. Name whatever emotions it brings up. Then have a different moment. Preferably a more rational/action-based moment. Those intrusive thoughts? Really not worth your time. They've cost you more than enough. Name elements instead. Or recite what you've learned from your studying. Just think of the opportunity costs of staying overwhelmed. You have other things to do. Try pairing your exercise routine with a sleep routine. You can maintain routines - you've done it before. The point is to take care of yourself.
If you're going to be alive long enough to bloom, you're going to need to learn how to take better care of yourself. See to do list item notes for instructions.
No matter what happens this Friday, remember you have value. You have some worth. You have other things to live for. Remember there can be days like today, when feeling good can come from other people - not just him. You probably already forgot - today someone thought we were 25. Whether that was real or just a play, it felt good anyway right? Feeling good...it won't always feel like an exercise. Who am I kidding? That sounds too optimistic for the both of us. Nothing much will change in 19 days. Feeling good will still be hard work. But keep at it. Remember you have a goal.
A goal that's independent of him. A goal that's worth pursuing and living for. You have to give yourself a chance to bloom. You have to be alive for that to happen. You've worked so hard to just get to this point. You've struggled for so long...don't let it be for nothing. You still have potential energy. Better to burn out than fade away, right...? So burn away.
Hyperfocus your way through this heartbreak. It's what's going to get you through; it's what's going to keep you moving. See to do list item notes for ideas. Try time blocking all of these things. It's ok if you don't or aren't successful again with the time blocking. The point is to preoccupy your mind with something else other than constantly ruminating on and marinating in the pain.
On the pain. Give it the moments it deserves. Name whatever emotions it brings up. Then have a different moment. Preferably a more rational/action-based moment. Those intrusive thoughts? Really not worth your time. They've cost you more than enough. Name elements instead. Or recite what you've learned from your studying. Just think of the opportunity costs of staying overwhelmed. You have other things to do. Try pairing your exercise routine with a sleep routine. You can maintain routines - you've done it before. The point is to take care of yourself.
If you're going to be alive long enough to bloom, you're going to need to learn how to take better care of yourself. See to do list item notes for instructions.
36-40, F
