Do you ever use really abusive language when you cutesi talk to your pets?

Like in a really friendly, playful voice:

"Who's my lil worthless abomination? Yes you are"
"You're a freaking useless loser. Look at that dumb face. Who's my favourite loser? You are. Yes you are, you piece of $hit"

And they just look back at me like :


Oh hai mum : 3