I'm doing my best to stay strong
But every now & then a few tears start falling & then I get it back together & carry on like nothing happened. I hope I'm being strong because lately it feels like I'm just trying not to break
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Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
Dang brother. This pains me to read , in a " I feel for you" kind of way.
I'm probably going to blow this but go big or go home right?
Dude when I was going through my divorce after only 10 short years, I had a lot of mixed feelings. Now remember that a break up like this is often likened to an actual death only worse.
You feel the loss but it is coupled with rejection. So this isn't just a crush dumping you. This really dose carry real weight.
Maybe by trying to stay strong your actually denying yourself the chance to morn your loss.
It was more than just a girlfriend you shared something very special with her.
Remember there is a difference with keeping up appearances and trying to fool yourself.
Now I think everyone is aware I am an atheist. But I have read the Bible and have found a lot of wisdom and comfort in the word.
One thing, funny it came from a ex-girlfriend, that held the most weight for me was the phrase
"This to shall pass".
At first I felt it to be a little dismissive. I mean at it's root it simply says "You'll live". LOL
But it is more than just that. It's a way to allow yourself to grieve the loss with understanding that, even though it feels like you won't ever recover, you will and have before. You have suffered some very real and painful things in your life.
At the time it, they, hurt you to your sole. But for reason.
If you didn't struggle with the pain then that would mean it didn't mean as much to you as you thought.
You need to allow yourself time to honer what you put into the relationship and what it meant to you and give yourself permission to feel sad. It doesn't make you weak to have a heart and sole.
The problem with having those two things is we feel.
We feel love and loyalty and hurt and grief.
So brother keep sharing your heart because it is pure and rare.
It is something to be treasured not ignored.
Hope this helps and if not I hope you giggled. LOL
I'm probably going to blow this but go big or go home right?
Dude when I was going through my divorce after only 10 short years, I had a lot of mixed feelings. Now remember that a break up like this is often likened to an actual death only worse.
You feel the loss but it is coupled with rejection. So this isn't just a crush dumping you. This really dose carry real weight.
Maybe by trying to stay strong your actually denying yourself the chance to morn your loss.
It was more than just a girlfriend you shared something very special with her.
Remember there is a difference with keeping up appearances and trying to fool yourself.
Now I think everyone is aware I am an atheist. But I have read the Bible and have found a lot of wisdom and comfort in the word.
One thing, funny it came from a ex-girlfriend, that held the most weight for me was the phrase
"This to shall pass".
At first I felt it to be a little dismissive. I mean at it's root it simply says "You'll live". LOL
But it is more than just that. It's a way to allow yourself to grieve the loss with understanding that, even though it feels like you won't ever recover, you will and have before. You have suffered some very real and painful things in your life.
At the time it, they, hurt you to your sole. But for reason.
If you didn't struggle with the pain then that would mean it didn't mean as much to you as you thought.
You need to allow yourself time to honer what you put into the relationship and what it meant to you and give yourself permission to feel sad. It doesn't make you weak to have a heart and sole.
The problem with having those two things is we feel.
We feel love and loyalty and hurt and grief.
So brother keep sharing your heart because it is pure and rare.
It is something to be treasured not ignored.
Hope this helps and if not I hope you giggled. LOL
ChiefJustWalks · 26-30
@Dainbramadge yeah you always get it man. I really appreciate you. What's crazy is these things felt a lot harder in past relationships, I assume because I wasn't as emotionally mature. Plus I drank a lot so I know that didn't help. I dwelled in sadness too much & I feel like I'm handling all this a lot better for once. It's easier to get through & I know I can but I at the same time I can tell it hurts more than any other time. There was so much more into it & so much more that I lost. I'm not even home anymore & I miss putting my kid to bed every night, just a lot of things. I didn't just lose her I lost my home & the life we were planning for. I'm still happy when I have my kid but sometimes it hits me that we can't raise her together in the same place anymore & it sucks. I can't help but feel alone now because I still wanna raise my kid but I've never done this before & now I don't have my partner by my side.
I'm thinking the best I can do is focus on goals. Getting my own place is #1 now. We still have a lease together & at first I was willing to still pay half or at least help on rent just to be nice & help her but the way she's acted towards me has changed my mind. I'll buy anything for our kid but if she wants the apartment she can have it & pay for it herself. Helps me focus on getting my own place anyway. It sucks that I gotta do it alone but at least I'll have my kid half the time. I know I can do this but everything about this just sucks. All my expectations of the future are shattered & I don't know what's to come anymore
I'm thinking the best I can do is focus on goals. Getting my own place is #1 now. We still have a lease together & at first I was willing to still pay half or at least help on rent just to be nice & help her but the way she's acted towards me has changed my mind. I'll buy anything for our kid but if she wants the apartment she can have it & pay for it herself. Helps me focus on getting my own place anyway. It sucks that I gotta do it alone but at least I'll have my kid half the time. I know I can do this but everything about this just sucks. All my expectations of the future are shattered & I don't know what's to come anymore