It feels weird getting accustomed to being home again
There's a lot of things I got used to. Like I can eat real food again & drink cold drinks now 😌 I can breathe clean air. No more jail spreads & flavorless slop (I always seasoned my slop with the seasoning packs from ramen noodles). I can shower in the peace of my own home instead of wide open bathrooms in front of dudes shitting right across from you. Even just listening to music feels like a luxury right now. I had the damn Burger King theme song stuck in my head for weeks because it was all I'd ever hear on the TV plus it was like torture watching at burgers on TV while all you can eat is meals that are barely edible. I would save a tortilla for each day so I could make a burrito with ramen, pork rinds, crushed Takis, & cheese. It's crazy what people figure out how to make in there. We would basically eat the same thing every day though.
On my birthday everyone even got together & made me a big ass cake out of bread, cookies, peanut butter, milk, & mixed fruit jelly. They even sang me Happy Birthday which surprised me for sure. Made me feel appreciated in some way.
I only almost got into a fight once & it also surprised me how pretty much everyone stepped up to back me up. A week ago I put a few dudes in check because they kept using the N word & I already told them multiple times that shit wasn't cool. One of them was the head of the Paisas so he thought he had some authority. He tried stepping up to me so I stepped up too. Suddenly everybody else stepped up with me. The head of the Chicanos was right by my side then both the heads of the blacks stepped in to back me up too. Even the head of the whites heard about it from further away so he rushed in to back me up too. It wasn't even his business & normally he wouldn't have cared but he told me, "Man I was in the shower but when I heard it was you, I threw my clothes on & rushed out here before even drying myself off. I was ready to jump for you" Even the 2nd head of the Paisas was on my side. He said he had my back before he even knew what was going on because he knows I'm not the type to start shit over nothing. Pretty much everyone came to shake my hand afterward & tell me I did the right thing. People even gave me food as a show of respect over it (food is like currency in there).
I didn't realize until then how much everybody had my back. Every race stepped in to back me up which I've never seen happen for anybody else. There's a saying in there, "not my race, not my place" so every race sticks together & helps their own people first (I know, it sucks that jails are still organized what "race" you belong to. Jails really don't progress on the same level as the outside world). I never cared about race though, I got along with everyone equally & every day I gave away anything I could to help people out. I never asked anyone for anything in return. If I had it, I gave it. Even that's not very common in there. People mostly trade everything or "owe" people but I didn't want anybody owing me or me owing anybody else so I kept it that way. I even saw one dude get jumped by his own race for giving something to a black guy before offering it to his own race first. It happened on the bunk right beneath me actually. I was asleep, I just woke up to commotion like "well damn tf y'all doin' waking me up? 🤨"
There were definitely some predators in there too. Like the "booty bandit" types who seem like they'd fuck you ASAP if they got the chance. One famous quote I heard someone say in there was "it ain't gay it's just jail" 🤔 ...idk about that one but I definitely made fun of it a lot 😅 If you're gay that's cool but don't be a fucking weirdo or a predator. That's all I'm sayin'. There was one dude I thought I was gonna end up beating the shit out of eventually. He would always eyeball me & make weird ass comments. He was definitely the gay predator type. He was bald headed, covered in tattoos including a set of horns wrapped around his skull. Everyone acted afraid of him but I think he respected me at least to some degree because as much as I talked shit to him, he wouldn't step up to me. A few times he even asked me "why do you look at me like that?" & When I asked what he meant he said "you have this evil look in your eyes like you wanna kill me... You've killed before haven't you?" I told him, "why you walk around eyeballing me like you're Deebo with a slump? Got your neck all fucked up like this" then I imitated his walk 😂 we always just laughed everything off but he knew I disliked him. I was the one who outed him for being a predator & crushed his "tough" status before I left.
I kept a notepad & I would write about my stay, once or twice a week. I brought that home with me. I stayed up reading late every night. I worked out every day, whatever muscles I worked out that day I always made sure to do a thousand reps of all different types. I feel pretty damn fit right now. I can definitely feel the difference & I guess it's noticable when I take my shirt off because when I got home even my lady started touching my body like "ohhh my 👀" which is exactly what I was aiming for 😌 I even got a 6 pack coming in.. I haven't had that since high school.
I even started making mini dreamcatchers to pass the time so I started selling them too. I didn't even know I could make them 🤷 I just took a shot. I made the first one for my daughter then I decided to keep practicing & making more. I gave away a bunch of my last day but I brought some home for my family. I made them out of bottle cap seals, & I would rip the wire out of headphones for the middle designs & thread from towels to wrap the outside.
The one on the right is Naya's, that was the first one I made.
This one was both red & gold, I made it for my lady ❤
Then here's the rest. The one on the top left got damaged because Naya played with it & chewed on it lol.. it was prettier before. That one is hers too though so it's okay
I guess jail is mainly just finding ways to burn the time. Nothing else to really do. Definitely brings out a lot of creativity & at least I came out in better shape 💪 it's pretty nice to feel good about yourself. I gotta keep working out & I wanna eat healthier too from now on just because I like having this energy. I don't wanna get used to just being okay I'm tryna stay on the roll.
It's just so nice to be home.. definitely takes some getting used to again. I just feel bad I missed so much at home
Glad you got through it buddy and got the backing of others. I've never been inside and hope never to be. I have however known a few who have for much worse than you. Having others back you is a big deal. Not everyone gets that I'm sure you know. I could feel you reflecting writing this post and I'm sure your mind will do that for awhile. Appreciate everything you have and make your life as fulfilling as possible.
@Gibbon it meant a lot to know people had my back like that, especially since there were so many from all races. All I did was kick back & talk to people. Talking helped reflect on a lot too, my favorite conversations were always the realer ones. & Those people always made it a point to look out for me all the time so I suppose just conversating goes a long way.
I could survive in there if I had to but at the same time I'm not sure I'd have the same experience because I find it super hard to just talk to "one" race, (my white race.) I don't have any issue towards my fellow white people, but I'm used to talking to all kinds of people so that would be hard on me to be honest.
@ChiefJustWalks I'm thinking it was, you showed you were genuine and I mean, just because it's jail doesn't mean people don't have standards so you showed you did too. People can feel that and I'm thinking that's why.
Everyone who has ever been incarcerated mentions that the food is not good. 😄
But yeah, after even two months of being kept from things we normally take for granted, they seem like the best thing in the world.
Music you love - it heightens to being a spiritual experience when you hear it. Some d4mn burger from fast food seems like a gourmet meal. Picking up the phone to talk to a friend or loved one - it is a sentiment worthy of those old long-distance carrier commercials.
And the question - "What do "I" want to do today?" is music to your own ears. You are f***ing free!
In the early 90's I was "away" for a couple months (not for legal issues though) and yeah the day it ended, it was like being in hog heaven. Bought me a portable CD player and a couple CDs and I promise that music NEVER sounded so good to me before.
@Punches yeah I imagine that had to be pretty strict. Hopefully the food was a little bit better at least 😅 I don't imagine they were making gourmet meals but anything's gotta be better than flavorless slop lol.
Things are good at home though. I wasn't sure if we'd have to move to a new apartment. Since I'm a felon now & I don't have the past few months of paystubs to show I've been working, I knew it would be a struggle if we couldn't renew our lease. We renewed it the other day though so everything worked out 🙏 thank God
@ChiefJustWalks Once you are in an apartment or whatever, as long as you have kept up on the rent and not causing problems, they are not going to ask you to leave. MAYBE if you wanted a different apartment but same one - normally they won't ask for paystubs and what not.
The military is not as bad as people picture it, except basic training. The food, regardless if it's during training or one's duty station, it is not horrible. Better than school lunch but not as good as a home cooked meal. So it's... mostly edible. Out in the field (sometimes called BIVUAC) there are these pre-packaged meals called MRE's, which stands for "Meal, Ready to Eat" but we called them Meals Rejected by Ethiopia. 🤮
When you say "flavorless slop" I just imagine that brown stuff on the tray in the pic below. I found that on a scene of the movie "blood in, blood out." If you have never seen that, you NEED to watch it. Long movie, very entertaining, but also it is NOT exactly the "feel-good movie of the year". About prison, gangs, racial tensions, violence, drugs, drama, f***ing awesome. Every time I see it, I notice things I didn't before.
@LordShadowfire yeah my sister told me once that she didn't understand why I didn't use video calls to see my daughter. I told her if she doesn't understand then I pray she never has to. It just hurts a lot & there's no way to really deal with it
