Its js myself?

Why? Why is my problems coming back?its just january,is it really coming to start bad?,why?i cant even express my feeling or emotions towards them,i have done what i have been supposed to?is it not enough?ive been crying for days about this shit,cant i just die?cant i just run away?, everything is not going nice,After all the crying bullshit i feel very lightheaded i didn't drink,eat and exercise,im just lying here rotting ,i cant anymore.