Anyone else cry into their pillow so nobody else can hear??

@MellyMel22 I have no other choice. I feel like I’m upset for the added stress I’m causing to my parents. I know they just want me to be happy but I’m far from it. And I don’t want them to know that I’m crumbling until I have found a solution. I don’t keep them in the loop sometimes because I know they worry and I know I feel best when I can show them that I can solve my own problems. Even when I can’t.

@2cool4school Yeah, that’s rough. I’ve been doing about that. Is there anything in particular that you can try that might help distract you?

@MellyMel22 sleep is the only relief and it never comes easily. I’ve been having disturbing dreams lately too so it’s not been the reprieve it usually is. I just don’t know anymore??

@2cool4school Maybe you can try to read up on how to bring on lucid dreaming? When I learned to manipulate mine, almost all of bad stopped.

@MellyMel22 I feel like I’m always trying to escape something in mine and I know my physical pain is influencing them but I’m just not sure how to remove myself from the pain and the effects of the meds and the stress in the moment and I don’t know if it’s the boredom but I don’t always hate the dreaming experience and I wake up feeling somewhat like I’m being prepared for something??

@2cool4school If you think it could have to do with the meds, tell your Dr! But whatever you do don’t cut them cold Turkey ever. Many can change how you think as you withdraw and make you feel way worse and think some crazy things you wouldn’t normally.

@MellyMel22 I know this because I’ve stubbornly gone cold turkey before. I’m on the least amount and dosage I can tolerate and stay sane(?) but I’m waiting on a new diagnosis for my situation and I know I may need surgery (again). I feel like my pain is worse than the meds but I don’t ever trust my feelings fully anymore because I’ve had so many head injuries and a recent knock seems to have really affected my mood. I just don’t journal enough but I can tell from my posts on here that I’ve been in better places and I’m not at the physical fitness level that I deem acceptable for myself and I can’t really do anything about that which is upsetting me too. I know I’m not going to get myself back together without effort but I’m just so tired and overwhelmed that I don’t know how I’m going to climb out of my hole 🕳? I’ve been through bad stuff before but I felt like I had more “steam”. I’m just not sure if I’m on my last legs or I just feel like I am. I try to remind myself that when I feel like I am at my limit I’m probably only 40% exhausted and I have more “fuel in the tank” than I’m aware. I just can’t let my head do me in.

@2cool4school I’m sorry things are so hard right now. I know the feeling is horrible and to not know how to make it better can feel even worse. I wish I knew a way that could help you. No one deserves to be in your position 😞❤️

@MellyMel22 I think I easily forget that it can’t last forever it just feels like it can. You are truly helpful you don’t have to have an answer. I’m stuck in my head and I need to get stuff out. You allowed that. Thank you for being you.

@2cool4school Anytime, seriously! Reach out anytime you’d like, even if you just need someone to hear you out. I know exactly how you feel.

@MellyMel22 Thst is very kind of you. Thank you 🙏