Sad poetry...Nothing Matters Anymore

@Queendragonfly I wrote this after my sister died. IDK if you've experienced someone close to you die, but I just felt like in the grand skeem of things, thing you thought were important to you now mean nothing. The only I could deal with is sleeping all the time. There was nothing and no one to take my mind off of things.

@melissa001 I'm so sorry. ❤️‍🩹 That explains it all. You're in a grief process, which takes all the energy. So there's nothing left for anything else. This is when you can ask others to help you around the house.

@Queendragonfly I had no one to help or even talk to unfortunately.

@melissa001 I have lost people close to me but I tend to express my grief outwards.

I cry while walking to my planned events, I cry while riding the bus to see my friend. I cry when grocery shopping. I cry cry cry and write poetry and music and draw and sing and cry while singing and I express all the pain and let it out. I go to therapy. I cry in front of my therapist. I vent to my partner I went to SW.

And after some time I have found a way to live with the loss and the tears fade and I can start smile again. I have a saying to live for the person who isn't with us anymore.

However I have never lost my sister. I don't know how I would react but I hope I'd feel that I would live for her. She wouldn't want me to stop living.

@Queendragonfly we were very close. We roomed in college together, went everywhere to together. We were each others best friends. I gave her a kidney in exchange for her truck..it was a total joke between us. I would given her a kidney either way. And she wasn't a new vehicle. But we always joked about it.
I've have moved on, but still get that alone feeling every now and then. I am seeing a therapist, and it did get easier. And she was in a lot of pain so in the end I was glad she passed when she did.

@melissa001 Sister bonds are said to be the strongest bond existing. I can not imagine 😔 I'm happy to hear you try, with therapy and you try look after yourself.

A clean house makes no difference since it won't bring her back. 😔

@Queendragonfly you are so right. I'm glad you are so sympathetic.

@melissa001 How was she like?

@Queendragonfly how old was she?

@melissa001 Yeah and how was she like as a person?

@Queendragonfly she was the happiest person I new. Was brave when she had to be. And just an all around nice person. She would do anything for anyone if she could. She was totally a kid at heart. Christmas has no been the same since she died. At 39 she would still try to open the present under the tree when no one around. We ended having to put every present in boxes so she couldn't feel what they were. We were always making each other laugh the others ass off. We agreed we should have our own comedy show. Lol. And even at Easter, she wanted to hide the eggs. We ended up also hiding each others presents on our birthdays. Sorry so long. Just not the same with out her.

@melissa001 She was the light in the room, wasn't she?

It's so sad how such a beautiful soul leaves , and so young. It's unfair.

You should honor her by starting a tradition where you lift up the Christmas boxes to the ceiling so she can't reach 😂

@melissa001 I make laugh emojis but over here I'm all wet in my face of tears.

@Queendragonfly don't worry about it. I love to use emojis all the time. Sorry to make you cry.

@melissa001 I don't mind crying. I have a lot of tensed up emotions that needs out. ❤️