I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

My dad was always the drinker. Anything that happened warranted a drink. But he's been locked up for a year now, and I've noticed that my drinking is growing. I've never been legitimately, not all the way here, drunk. And I've never made myself sick. But I just downed enough, fast enough, that I covered my bathroom in vomit. I cleaned it and immediately started realizing what a disappointment I am. I don't what I'm doing. I don't know why I'm doing. I don't even recognize the girl in the mirror. I don't know who I am anymore".

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AliceTinker · 51-55, F

Whoa, don't go down that rabbit hole of feeling so disappointed with yourself for drinking too much that it makes you drink more.
You drank too much and made yourself ill.
That's it.
I personally don't think a child of an alcoholic is anymore likely to be an alcoholic more than anyone else that's had a messed up childhood. It's not a foregone conclusion that you will follow suit. Join a group if you're worried. They're not all sit around in a big group type things. Some can just be a chat one to one with someone.