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She was my early childhood friend from September 1976 to July 1980, my memory of her kept me going the entire eight years from 1980 to 1988, from my ages of 10 to 18, when there were times I wanted to give up. I finally connected back with her in May 1993, talked a few times on the phone and visited her mother a few times at the sports bar she owned. Every time I tried to meet up with her she never showed up, always giving an excuse. When I finally saw her at her mother's sports bar when she came in when I was already there she wouldn't give me the time of day. I paid for my beer, gave her mother a tip, walked out, and never looked back. Later that night on my way home on the public bus, I stopped at a church that stayed open all night, went inside and bawled my eyes out. This was 31 years ago.