Like you I had a hard childhood with physical beatings and mental abuse. Sorry for your experiences.
But what I loved the most was when my father The beater and abuser would take us fishing; he would sit and be quiet and even showed signs of being content in the moment, no screaming hitting or shouting. Even as young teens 12 to 13 out on the boat and my friend that went with us who had turret's syndrome while casting hooked my father's hat and cast the hat out into the lake. My friend reeled in the hat quickly while I was expecting the cussing and hitting to begin, but all I heard was my friend with Turrets cussing in a panic mode. My father did not say a word, but he did cut the hat free of my friend's hook, started the boat and took us to shore and left us there the rest of the day to fish as my father and brothers fished in the boat out on the lake. We ended up catching more and the biggest fish of the day when they returned to pick us up. Once my friend was dropped off and the boat cleaned and put away. I was expecting a beating and only got told my friend was not allowed to come fishing in the boat ever again.
Looking back at it was funny, considering my friends Turrets, maybe that shocked my father into not being himself, LOL. I will never know. But I do know fishing brought my father peace though he was not lucky with it.
