An end to loneliness [I Am Alone and Wonder If It Will Always Be This Way]
Loneliness is one of the most prevalent and unifying experiences of the human experience. We experience it from a very young age - alone in the dark and screaming from the crib - and it is ever present throughout the entirety of one's life.
One would think that the concept of loneliness comes from the mind's perception of separateness; having a sense of self requires the mind to distinguish between self and other. That in itself is what enables us to feel lonely to begin with. If we perceived ourselves to be a part of a collective consciousness as Carl Jung would suggest, then the concept of loneliness loses its meaning and would likely never be experienced to begin with. Though that is not the experience we have in our daily lives. Most of us are lonely - some for their entire lives.
I joined this group several years ago, because I believed that was one of those people - who are born, live, and then die all consumed by loneliness. I considered it to be an inescapable part of the human experience and resigned myself to live a life of isolation. I wanted to pay tribute to loneliness; as in many ways, it was my oldest and closest companion... perhaps I romanticized it as a coping mechanism? People sometimes develop strange relationships with their emotions.
That is not why I am writing this story now, though. I am writing this now to share how that all changed. How after twenty six years of being convinced that loneliness is the only constant in life, I noticed that it may not be quite as inescapable as I initially thought.
I had a very strange relationship with loneliness from the very start, as it became a large part of my life quite early on. My parents had their own fires to put out when I was a young child. This meant that my sister and I often came as an after-thought for them. They were never particularly concerned with our whereabouts and actions as long as it did not bring embarrassment upon them, and even then they struggled to notice.
After that, I was in my teens. Being a teenager is, in itself, a very confusing and isolating experience - so that did not help things. Nor did my social anxiety, for that matter.
When that whole award experience was over, I found myself in a long term, serious relationship. I started becoming depressed very soon, as I always thought that a relationship should put an end to this nagging loneliness, but it never did. I started becoming lonelier and more depressed inside the relationship that out. That setup was obviously never gonna work.
To get away from everything, I left my country to live and work abroad. I experienced quite a bit of loneliness there - but that is simply due to isolation. Being that far away from everyone and everything you ever knew is bound to be a hard transition. Though it is around this time that I noticed that I was not as isolated as I initially thought. You were there.
Even from half-way across the world, you made me feel less alone. I knew that even if something had to happen to me in this foreign country - you would know, and perhaps even care... It was only a suspicion back then, but even that glimmer of connection was enough to make it all less overwhelming. By the time we grew close enough for me to come back for you, loneliness was but the shadow of a memory. I never even realized it happening - it just disappeared. I have you to thank for that.
Now, I am not writing this to boast that I managed to escape the clutches of loneliness after a lifetime of believing that it's impossible. I am writing this to give testimony to the fact that it is possible. I know how suffocating solitude can get; just as with depression, it is easy for the mind to convince you that it is endless and hopeless. It can drown you in negative thoughts until the only option seems to be to give up.
I am saying; Don't give up and don't settle - The human experience doesn't have to be lonely. It can be a beautiful celebration of human connection, and all it requires is for one person to see you. Truly see you... and accept you regardless. It IS possible. There IS hope. We are NOT unlovable. We are NOT alone.
One would think that the concept of loneliness comes from the mind's perception of separateness; having a sense of self requires the mind to distinguish between self and other. That in itself is what enables us to feel lonely to begin with. If we perceived ourselves to be a part of a collective consciousness as Carl Jung would suggest, then the concept of loneliness loses its meaning and would likely never be experienced to begin with. Though that is not the experience we have in our daily lives. Most of us are lonely - some for their entire lives.
I joined this group several years ago, because I believed that was one of those people - who are born, live, and then die all consumed by loneliness. I considered it to be an inescapable part of the human experience and resigned myself to live a life of isolation. I wanted to pay tribute to loneliness; as in many ways, it was my oldest and closest companion... perhaps I romanticized it as a coping mechanism? People sometimes develop strange relationships with their emotions.
That is not why I am writing this story now, though. I am writing this now to share how that all changed. How after twenty six years of being convinced that loneliness is the only constant in life, I noticed that it may not be quite as inescapable as I initially thought.
I had a very strange relationship with loneliness from the very start, as it became a large part of my life quite early on. My parents had their own fires to put out when I was a young child. This meant that my sister and I often came as an after-thought for them. They were never particularly concerned with our whereabouts and actions as long as it did not bring embarrassment upon them, and even then they struggled to notice.
After that, I was in my teens. Being a teenager is, in itself, a very confusing and isolating experience - so that did not help things. Nor did my social anxiety, for that matter.
When that whole award experience was over, I found myself in a long term, serious relationship. I started becoming depressed very soon, as I always thought that a relationship should put an end to this nagging loneliness, but it never did. I started becoming lonelier and more depressed inside the relationship that out. That setup was obviously never gonna work.
To get away from everything, I left my country to live and work abroad. I experienced quite a bit of loneliness there - but that is simply due to isolation. Being that far away from everyone and everything you ever knew is bound to be a hard transition. Though it is around this time that I noticed that I was not as isolated as I initially thought. You were there.
Even from half-way across the world, you made me feel less alone. I knew that even if something had to happen to me in this foreign country - you would know, and perhaps even care... It was only a suspicion back then, but even that glimmer of connection was enough to make it all less overwhelming. By the time we grew close enough for me to come back for you, loneliness was but the shadow of a memory. I never even realized it happening - it just disappeared. I have you to thank for that.
Now, I am not writing this to boast that I managed to escape the clutches of loneliness after a lifetime of believing that it's impossible. I am writing this to give testimony to the fact that it is possible. I know how suffocating solitude can get; just as with depression, it is easy for the mind to convince you that it is endless and hopeless. It can drown you in negative thoughts until the only option seems to be to give up.
I am saying; Don't give up and don't settle - The human experience doesn't have to be lonely. It can be a beautiful celebration of human connection, and all it requires is for one person to see you. Truly see you... and accept you regardless. It IS possible. There IS hope. We are NOT unlovable. We are NOT alone.
