I used to be one who would fight to keep the connection alive while blaming myself for not being enough for them. But man, does that create a lot of darkness that only effects me and wastes a ton of energy that could be used for better things. There is no more energy given to the falls off because I’ve learned 99% of the time, they come back around when the timing is better for them and when things have settled a bit. And I’m okay with that because sometimes people just need to step away for their own good, and it’ll be done selfishly at times. When my mind tries to take it to a dark place, I immediately shut that crap down. Because I see it as past unhealed pain trying to be built upon for one hell of a strike and refuse to give past experiences too much weight over new ones due to that. I’ve learned a lot about myself and others from people I loved and connected deeply with walking away, either suddenly or gradually over time. But shit happens, man. A lot of it out of our control. So I respect people’s decision and while it stings, I understand why abrupt leavings are a thing. Simply because my broken heart was forced to go a different route for its own protection and growth. Even in silence love and peace is given. Because screw my mind trying to stir up anything else just because of past hurts. I’m too old and tired for my energy to be wasted like that.
