Portland pride is happening this weekend. I can't go.
More accurately, I could have gone yesterday, if I had known that they weren't going to let her go.
But Providence didn't bother telling me.
Why would they? I'm just the worthless, undeserving person who has to drop everything and drive out there the instant they say she's ready.
And I feel selfish for this being the thing I'm upset about. I do, I feel like garbage. But I had plans for this big, huge, life-affirming event, only to find out that no, I can't.
Because she could be ready to go any minute now.
So everything else is on hold.
For the woman at the center of our lives.
But Providence didn't bother telling me.
Why would they? I'm just the worthless, undeserving person who has to drop everything and drive out there the instant they say she's ready.
And I feel selfish for this being the thing I'm upset about. I do, I feel like garbage. But I had plans for this big, huge, life-affirming event, only to find out that no, I can't.
Because she could be ready to go any minute now.
So everything else is on hold.
For the woman at the center of our lives.
51-55, M
