Found out the real reason my mom was so mad at me last night.

She's been doing what I do. She assumed I was mad at her because she keeps falling asleep in front of the TV. She thought I was yelling at her, which I would absolutely never do. I've been trying to help her enjoy her wind down time in the evening without falling asleep early, because that leads to her waking up way early. So now I don't know what to do. I'm not angry with her, I'm angry with her body for betraying her. And I'm burning out on trying to find ways to help her.

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ninalanyon · 61-69, T

I have a suggestion. Perhaps instead of fighting her propensity to fall asleep early perhaps she should arrange her life around a non-standard sleep pattern.

I read somewhere that there might be some evidence that our ancestors didn't sleep all night but instead slept for between four and six hours, woke up and did something, and went back to sleep after an hour or two.

it wasn't clear what was done in the middle of the night waking period. I can't think what one could usefully do without artificial light but that's not a problem now. Perhaps one could do the accounts, answer and send email, do online ordering.

What I'm trying to get at is that perhaps viewing the problem from a different angle might reveal it to be an opportunity instead. Or at least not such a big problem as it seems now.

Anyway, don't take my, quite likely misleading, word for it. I found this page:
[quote]Biphasic Sleep: What It Is And How It Works[/quote]
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/biphasic-sleep

Perhaps it might be useful.

LordShadowfire · M

@ninalanyon The thing is, she's never had that sleep pattern before. It's only with the severe stress she's been under.

ninalanyon · 61-69, T

@LordShadowfire Perhaps it's best to let her go with the flow for a while and see if it sorts itself out naturally. And of course remove the stress; I see from your posts that you are living a stressful life at the moment so that might be the hard part. You have my sympathy, for the little it's worth.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

How early does she wake up? Short of propping open her eyes with toothpicks, I don’t know how much you’ll be able to do. We used to tease my mom because come evening, she never saw the end of a movie or television show. Out like a light. That was just mom. Maybe you’d have more success with helping her develop an early morning, relaxed, low stress routine.

LordShadowfire · M

@OlderSometimesWiser She's been waking up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, because of all the stress we're under from dealing with legal action by trailer trash who just won't take the hint and get off our property. We are possibly going to lose the property they are camping out on, and they just won't go.

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@LordShadowfire Obviously you’re in a very difficult, stressful situation which doesn’t lend itself to easy answers. Just wondering if the added stress of trying to keep her awake is worth the struggle when it would buy you, what, another hour or two in the morning? Has she seen her doctor about this? Any possibility of getting prescribed anti-anxiety and/or sleep medications? Even for just a short while to get through this particularly tough time. Forgive me if my thoughts on this don’t gel with what you’re going through. Just trying to throw out some ideas because it’s hard to see someone going through a difficult time without wanting to help.

LordShadowfire · M

@OlderSometimesWiser She's taking a ton of melatonin to get to sleep and stay asleep, and it's not working. I've got her convinced to let me buy her some cannabis indica gummies to take when she wakes up at 2:00, so that she feels all sleepy and heavy and doesn't get up until 6:00. She doesn't want to do artificial medications.

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LordShadowfire · M

@jshm2 Dude, that actually was me going with it. My initial reaction was going to be a lot harsher. And actually, yeah, she does have low iron. She's on iron supplements already. Good catch.

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