Fuck it, then... I will just refuse to accept him...

@smiler2012 It's not that though. My main ground for refusal is fire safety.

Let's say that these carers come out at 8am and 8pm... now we will pretend that I set fire to the kitchen cooking lunch.

I need to get a non-mobile person a foot taller than me out of a door that is not wide enough to accommodate his wheelchair or wait for the fire brigade to extract him.

My illness and how that affects my ability to do the job is secondary to the fire risk.

@Alisha233 They're offering me 1 carer four times a day now. I've took that - even though I know that it's not going to make that much difference.

Just because they have him scooting across a slide board on his ass, it doesn't make him "more mobile" - and every ounce of me is saying that he needs two carers... because he cannot stand or weight bear through his leg (yes, he only has one leg). If he needs two carers, he automatically cannot come home - and they know that.

Every time I try to raise my concerns, the discharge co-ordinator is all "He has rights". I'm not disputing that he has rights - so do I... I want my rights considered and my physical abilities to manoeuvre him.

@HootyTheNightOwl
That sounds difficult, tis a challege of the career field. I imagine getting enough carers available and various times might be a challenge too..and would make routines important to utilize the help while you got it, and good team work.

When you look at the alternative options, is having two carers full time even an option? And how does he feel about the situation? Would he heal better in his own home/environment versus cared for somewhere else?

@Alisha233 They're bringing him home this evening.

Difficult is knowing that you can't leave him alone, since he can't answer the door to the carers for himself... someone (I wonder whoo???) has to be with him 24/7.

Wraparound care is only an option if I do it all myself, as I have been doing for the last 22 years. The problem with that is that he is deteriorating now. He recently got a diagnosis of osteoporosis... and I have ME/POTS as well as autism (yes, the two interplay and affect my energy levels), so I just can't manage his additional needs until he's mobile again.

The care he does have still leaves me doing all the work for 23 hours a day, using equipment that I am not trained to use and nor have I even seen it demonstrated yet.

I have been trying to get him into a step down facility - but the hospital prioritises his rights more highly than mine. In other words, they imprisoned him in a windowless room by himself for a week, then asked him "Do you want to go home???". Of course, he's going to say "Yes", who wouldn't???

After that, they kept him in the same room for another 6 days, ignoring his requests for a wheelchair until they finally offered him a shower yesterday. While he was in the shower, they bagged his stuff up and gave it to the porters who threw him on the bed anyhow and wheeled him down to a discharge ward, where he is now.

He didn't even have the medical aid that he's been wearing since admission on - and that's supposed to help prevent his only foot from swelling due to high cholesterol.

He was raised in a household where you don't bother the doctors or nurses - so he's basically agreeing with whatever they say. They could take him up on the roof and tell him that stepping off is no worse than stepping off the kerb and he will agree with them regardless of what he thinks... which is why I tried to speak up for him and tell them when he was confused and calling me in a panic. Like he was telling me that his surgery is at 2.30pm and he has to stop eating at 2.30pm. I had to call the nurses about that because I couldn't get to the hospital because of a storm to straighten it out.

Ideally, I would like him in a specialised setting close to home, where he can get the care he needs until he is able to get up and at least take himself to the toilet. I can't say that I'm confident in my ability to care for him any more after allegations were made at the time of the accident. I understand that it was pain talking - but, if the right people had overheard that accusation, then it would have triggered an investigation even though I did nothing wrong. I cannot be held responsible for something I was unaware of because I couldn't hear his calls due to both my ears being infected.

I'm still carrying the guilt of the fact he was on the ground for half an hour before I realised that something was wrong and went to complain about a light being left on.