I keep one foot out the door and I know every exit in the room.

I'm unlovable because I make myself so.

Because half of me will always have to protect myself.

Half of me flows like water, peacefully and gently.

I am like two people, neither living true, trapped and limited in my own skin.

The manger quit a long time ago and the rawness of conflicting energies inside me are long overdue for some fair resolution.

You can't push people away and beg for them to be lovable.

I have to fix this.

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MayorOfCrushtown · M

if you met a guy who had many of the same issues that you do...... do you think it would work out ??

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@MayorOfCrushtown I've never thought of that. Perhaps I've only ever tortured people with endless need to fill a void in me.

It would be cumbersome I suppose, but if we're honest about it and truly loved each other I could believe in growth together. Sounds ideal.

But the results are in and most people don't want to deal with anyone else's crap. And if you are willing they will probably drain you with their inability to do the work on themselves.

I don't know if I'm even willing to try anymore and it should just be something I fix myself. Together sure sounds like it'd take the edge off and have a happy ending. But it doesn't sound likely.

MayorOfCrushtown · M

@ScreamingFox someone asked me that question one time, and it floored me. i had never even given it a thought. if i ended up with someone exactly like myself, we would probably drive each other nuts. LOLOL

Ferric67 · M

I did some self love this morning
After my leg workout I ate two slices of white pizza topped with fresh garlic and mushrooms

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Ferric67 sweet 🖤 cheers

I got a matcha and looked at the ocean

Ferric67 · M

@ScreamingFox absolutely lovely

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