I'm not happy with my life

been using this site since I was 19. I left, came back, left again, and now after a couple of years I'm back here. It's nice to share my feelings anonymously here. I live in a family filled with toxicity, backbiting, betrayal, and fights. I’ve been depressed throughout my late teens up until now I don't know how to be happy anymore. I live in a third world country where things are not pretty easy to do. I wonder how it's for the people in same condition living in first world. Btw Hi to y'all !!

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SinlessOnslaught · M

I live in the US.

I have a large family. People talk behind people's backs. It's very nervous and suffocating for me.

On top of that, I can't seem to hold a job or get along with people, and so I'm stuck with my parents.

People don't understand this problem. Yes they provide for me. Yes I have a cozy life materially. Emotionally, I'm empty. Every little thing I do is watched and talked about and it's too much. My whole family and everyone around me just see me as a loser who leeches off them. I've tried. Hard. I've tried to make my own way. It just hasn't worked out. And everyone blames me for it.