Tired of crying

Its the weekend and i will sit here alone while my husband is off some place who kmows he says trying to make money this has been happening for 3 months he ignores me most the time has not touched me in 3 years 💔 our anniversary is coming Wednesday why am i here i feel like a roommate he use to look at me with such love hold the small of back hold my hand i tried to hold his hand the other day at the fair he pulled away ugh i lost lonely depressed and feeling down on myself