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Self reflection...

I've done some analysis, but I haven't got to the root cause of the problem.
1- I'm not giving anything and that makes me as good as dead.
2- I'm not my old self, and I don't know how to be.
3- The mask that I have put on for years in front of my mom is getting broken to pieces by the day. Our interactions are getting more and more the ugly truth. I don't know what to make of it.
4- Some physical aspects I can't get normalized are tormenting me, especially when I compare myself to people.
5- I feel stuck in my place. Literally.
6- I can't focus on finding my purpose of living.
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It seems that 2 3 5 are part of 6, as is 1

4 would be better if 6 got fixed.

So concentrate on 6.
@SomeMichGuy The type of focus I need is absolutely no joke. No light, no human interaction. No responsibilities. A total solitary confinement for an unestimated amount of time. l know it's weird but this is how my brain works. I couldn't have it yet..
@SoulKey Ok so why don't you divide this into separate tasks?