Choosing to stand up for whats right is not the same as being someone who enjoys arguing
This sounds so stupidly obvious now I've realised it... but i just figured out that being a person who stands up for what they believe in is not the same as being someone who enjoys confrontation.
For years I've always felt a certain amount of shame and have been labelled as 'someone who likes arguing' because I will often speak out when I see something that I think isn't right. I have a real thing about always doing whats right. That often presents in a positive way... going out of my way to help others. But it also often presents in a more aggressive way in cases where i see someone harming or disrespecting others. Because of that... i got the 'likes causing drama and arguing label' that I've always been ashamed of.
However.... i recently had to stand up to a horrible person. (For HP fans... think professor umbridge). They have caused a lot of harm and upset to so many.... not by necessarily being a bad person but by being heartless and caring only about figures on paper. I was given an opportunity to have a meeting with her and because shes not my boss... I thought I'd take the chance to give a few home truths and tell her how her attitude is greatly harming others. I have been dreading this meeting for days, getting anxious about it at night and during the meeting i had to keep my hands pressed against my thighs so she couldnt see my hands shake. At some point i found myself wondering why i was so nervous because arguing "is what i do" and i had a proper lightbulb moment where i realised just because I choose not to look the other way and to stand up for what I think is right, is not the same as picking arguements because I enjoy it.
Its so stupid obvious now I realise it. I guess i just wanted to make the point here in case theres anyone out there who is the same and hasn't had their lightbulb moment yet. Maybe i can save you the years of shame I've felt about myself 🙈 I'd love to know if anyone else is the same?
For years I've always felt a certain amount of shame and have been labelled as 'someone who likes arguing' because I will often speak out when I see something that I think isn't right. I have a real thing about always doing whats right. That often presents in a positive way... going out of my way to help others. But it also often presents in a more aggressive way in cases where i see someone harming or disrespecting others. Because of that... i got the 'likes causing drama and arguing label' that I've always been ashamed of.
However.... i recently had to stand up to a horrible person. (For HP fans... think professor umbridge). They have caused a lot of harm and upset to so many.... not by necessarily being a bad person but by being heartless and caring only about figures on paper. I was given an opportunity to have a meeting with her and because shes not my boss... I thought I'd take the chance to give a few home truths and tell her how her attitude is greatly harming others. I have been dreading this meeting for days, getting anxious about it at night and during the meeting i had to keep my hands pressed against my thighs so she couldnt see my hands shake. At some point i found myself wondering why i was so nervous because arguing "is what i do" and i had a proper lightbulb moment where i realised just because I choose not to look the other way and to stand up for what I think is right, is not the same as picking arguements because I enjoy it.
Its so stupid obvious now I realise it. I guess i just wanted to make the point here in case theres anyone out there who is the same and hasn't had their lightbulb moment yet. Maybe i can save you the years of shame I've felt about myself 🙈 I'd love to know if anyone else is the same?
36-40, F
