Kind of a vent from me.

I fell stupid ,dumb and retardant amongst my group of friends .everyone else got invites to academic awards and get recognized and this makes me feel a lot of pressure because when people see us together they think that everyone in the group is smart when I am putting up with this façade ,people expected me to be there with them up on stage getting all these awards but I feel like I disappointed them. I try to match their standard but I am feeling burnt out
I wonder why I can’t be as good as smart or as intelligent as they are .and I start feeling left out and like an outsider in the group