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So this is that story of the shootout. I mentioned days ago that I might write this

I seriously contemplated if I should even tell it here in the first place but eh. I'll delete it if I feel the need to. I'll also mention that any investigations are over with & I no longer put myself in these positions anymore. Also, sorry for the length lol.

I realize there are people who will judge me regardless so screw it. I'll take that 🤷

To start, it was another regular day. I worked my ass off on a long shift, got off work, then I decided to stop by a friend's to see what he'd been up to (I'll call him A). His best friend had just gotten killed a few weeks before & he was going through a really hard time. Not only were the same people trying to kill him too, but my friend wanted revenge on the people who did it. Typical hood story. One of my closest friends (I'll call him B) & I would stop by to visit him almost every day to keep him company & make sure he was safe. We didn't want him getting attacked or doing anything stupid.

This one particular night, we were outside by the parking lot because we were smoking. It was late at night on a work day so we weren't expecting anybody to really be looking for us. We were laughing & joking around, telling stories like usual. Suddenly A got a text message that was only a picture of the street sign closest to the corner we were next to.
We knew that picture was sent as a warning that we were being watched & immediately we all changed our whole demeanor.

Every single one of us owned guns & at that moment there was four of us standing together. We all cocked our guns back (put a bullet in the chamber) & kept them at our sides because we already knew something was about to happen. We just didn't know where, what, or how it was gonna pop off.

We decided to start walking back to the apartment so we walked in line, one by one at a distance so we weren't all grouped together at once.

That's when a black sedan pulled into the parking lot. We had our eyes on the car as it pulled up across from the spaces we were next to. Both front doors opened & two men leaned out of each of the doors. We heard the *click clack* of pistols being cocked back. The first shot went off & I heard the bang as I saw the ground spark up right in front of my feet, meaning that's where the first bullet hit. Each of us aimed back & started shooting immediately. My guess is they didn't expect all those shots to be returned. There was only two of them & four of us but we were running for cover since we were in the open while they were ducking, closing their doors, getting ready to drive off. Shots still flying back & forth the whole time.

Thats when we all took the cue to split & started running in different directions. I parked my car outside of the complex when I arrived because I didn't want to risk my car getting towed (since I didn't live there). As I exited the complex from the opposite direction I saw the same black sedan pulling out of the complex on the other side of the street as me. I don't even know how they got there so fast.

I saw the windows rolling down & I knew what that meant so this time I shot at them first because when you're in that state of mind, your thoughts are "hit them before they hit me". They fired back only a few shots before hitting the gas hard & peeling out of there. The way they drove away seemed like the driver definitely got shot. I found out later that's exactly what happened. He got hit in the leg when I shot at his car.

I got to my car & left as quickly but calmly as I could. Of course speeding would draw attention & I could already hear the police sirens so I was just driving like I normally would've. B called at that moment & told me that A is by a tree around the corner. I pulled up, he hopped in my car, then we drove back to B's house.

I was still on high alert when I got there. Every car that passed by his house had me watching them just waiting for something to happen again. I felt like with the amount of bullets that went off that night it's amazing my friends & I didn't get hit.

The next day we found out both of those people in the sedan were shot. Both lived. It's hard to say which of our bullets hit the other guy though. I know I hit the driver but idk who hit the 2nd person. I haven't heard anything about him since. Maybe he didn't even make it.. but I think if that happened I would've heard about it. That shootout was a huge deal & the streets knew about it. So I think he just vanished on his own after.

That was the last incident I got into before I took a step back from that lifestyle. I got tired of looking over my shoulder, wondering if this might be the day I get locked up or maybe even shot. I got tired of being there for my friends & not worrying about myself. When their stupid asses are gonna do what they wanna do no matter what. At a certain point I can't be there anymore. I can't stop them. & Why throw my own life away for other people who are throwing theirs away too?
Even out of all those people in the shootout that night, only two of us are still alive & free. Just me & B.. he's still one of my closest friends.
A is in prison now. So is the other friend who was with us that I didn't name.

As for the other two who targeted us, one of them is dead. He pointed a gun at A's sister a week later so A killed him in broad daylight in front of witnesses. Shot him more than 20 times. So not much of a defense for that in court. The other guy, I have no idea but it wouldn't be hard to guess.

I know there's people who will read this & think about what a lowlife piece of shit I am. The disregard for the safety of others. The recklessness of knowing what could result from the positions I put myself in. I don't disagree with that at all. I'd tell you you're right.

I'm here because I like telling my stories from time to time, giving my input, & accepting others. The same reason I joined EP long ago. I've always liked writing & EP allowed me to write my experiences in a place where people can actually relate or ask questions. Because I ain't telling my family on Facebook these stories 😂 I mean I'm honest with them but I ain't out there writing shit like this for them to read me like a book. Especially this one because it's too much.
I can say I'm a good person.. I can tell you all that I've changed, but words aren't enough for things like that. You guys can decide that yourself. If you think I'm a bad person.. then I am. I won't argue with you.
I'm just here to share my experiences & hope it does something.
😞 This is quite depressing to read. I’m glad that you realize that you can no longer put your life at risk because of the other people you care for in your life. ❤️ I’m so proud of you for realizing that, because I know it’s not an easy thing to realize and it’s a super hard pill to swallow that you come first in your life. Because, honestly if you don’t take that into consideration how can you even show up for the people you care for in the way you want if you can’t breathe?
So, you’re doing wonderful and you handled this situation in the best way you could with the only tools you were given in life. It doesn’t make you a bad person or even the others who were involved in this a bad person. I think it’s just the only way you guys knew how to survive and live life based on the experiences you had growing up and what you endured. You guys weren’t set up for great opportunities and the system definitely did fail you all in that. As to why this story makes me so sad and heartbroken. 🥺 🤗 because it’s extremely challenging to unlearn harming behavior and survival instincts when it’s all you know. It’s not something you can just switch off simply because you want better for yourself and your future.

Sorry I’m replying to this so late. I saw this earlier, but I wasn’t able to give a deep and thoughtful reply at the time because I was distracted, and I didn’t wanna reply without true meaning and love put into it. 😝❤️ Now you know why I didn’t comment on it right away.
@Stark oh & hi nice to meet you.. you're hot 😌
@ChiefWalksWith40oz hi I’ve never seen you on here before 🤭 now I’m shy because you’re hot too
@Stark I've never seen you either idk how 😮 but stooopp you're gonna make me nervous 🤭
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
So many, many things to say on this topic.
First I can't believe that no one is judging you.
Up until now I saw you as a kindred spirit. Someone that I could relate to on many different levels and on many touchy subjects.
But I must say I think I have lost some respect for you after reading this. I am sorry I have to say that.

I can't believe that you trust your life in a situation like that to some Sissy 9 mm. I am appalled.
You know Smith and Wesson has had the perfect gun on the market for many years now. It's called The judge. Actually I think it is just plainly called judge.
This is a revolver that can chamber .45 acps or my favorite .410.
Yes it only holds five rounds but is just as concealable as any 9 mm is but it has a distinct advantage in that it can shoot 410 buckshot. I know I don't have to tell you how effective a 410 with buckshot can be to a car door, windshield, tires, a human head etc etc.
Also the other advantage is instead of shooting one round the size of your pinky with one hand, which in a stressful situation like that is bobbling around like a Homer Simpson doll head on a truck dashboard, it is shooting an effective damage circumference the size of a pie plate at 20 ft out of a 2-in barrel.
I actually feel bad being so judgmental of you on this topic.
True gun control is hitting your target. Why trust your life to a tiny little 9 mm round when you could be sending that devastating pie plate down range?

Also I think I need to address an issue that so many people here have mentioned. I actually wrote a post about it. People were very forthcoming with their answers and I really appreciate that and was saddened.
You shouldn't have to feel like you need to write a disclaimer to the degree that you did before sharing a story like this. But you're not the only one. There were a lot of people who answered my post that said they were sick of being negatively judged when they shared personal stories.
I know I haven't shared much of anything so I guess you can take this as from the source.
Let your freak flag fly. Don't worry about the negative people. They are actually more fun to comment back to than the positive ones are I think. People will judge anyone and everything. Some feel virtuous in sharing their view of how sad and simple others are to them. But in reality anyone who would share a comment like that is actually the sad and simple one.
Then you will always get some a****** like me that is going to try to make a joke about it. I actually like those too because some of those people can be really f****** funny.

This was a great read and thank you for sharing it with all of us. If we can't learn from our past mistakes maybe we can learn from someone else's. That's how I am raising my children. I am hoping they can learn from all the stupid s*** I did and not follow in my footsteps.
@Dainbramadge haha I'm actually very aware of the Judge 😂 I've been wanting one for years. Almost bought one before Covid hit & I wish I did because it was $500 & you will not find one for that price anymore 😬 they're so expensive now it's crazy. But haha hey at least I hit some of my shots 😅

I love my 9mm for it's capacity, light weight, plus if the world were to end, 9mm ammo would likely be the easiest to come across. As well as it being one of the most plentiful & cheapest to buy in the market now too 👌 it's just practical to me but I don't disagree with you there.

I'm glad nobody was negative towards me in this post. I thought posting it would get me hate for sure but hey there's still time 😅 my post from days ago when I said I was worried about sharing stuff like this because of the hate.. I got a lot of support on that post. That was what made me decide to post this. It's almost like I had that whole post act as a disclaimer for the story I shared here 😂 but thanks man I'm always glad to read your comments. Even though you make me tall a lot right back lmao
I can't see you as a bad person.
I think you could write a Pulitzer-winning novel based on this story.
The story shows how you were a product of your environment, how you loved and cared for your friends, how you acted only in self-defence, and how your conscience acted on you to create a change of strategy and lifestyle.
I do wonder why more people don't buy bullet-proof vests and helmets in states where firearms are so abundant that they outnumber citizens.
@hartfire Arizona is beautiful with our sunsets but I still hate the sun 😤🤣

& if anything, I'd probably have to collect any short stories I've written over time, write more, then fit them into chronological order of what time they happened. Then I'd have to use that to rewrite it all & fill in any gaps to lead into each other. It would be a lot of work but I could do it & I'd like it. But I doubt it would sell or anything 😂 but no I've never heard of Tori Morrison. Who's that?
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Your proposed method of linking the stories into a novel would work very well.

I think you'd be surprised at how well it could sell. The topic is on target for issues that rage across the US and around the world.

Toni Morrison is one of America's world famous and best loved novelists.
Wiki introduces her this way: "Chloe Anthony Wofford Morrison (born Chloe Ardelia Wofford; February 18, 1931 – August 5, 2019), known as Toni Morrison, was an American novelist. Her first novel, The Bluest Eye, was published in 1970. The critically acclaimed Song of Solomon (1977) brought her national attention and won the National Book Critics Circle Award. In 1988, Morrison won the Pulitzer Prize for Beloved (1987); she was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1993."

My favourite of hers was "Belovéd" - very hard emotionally, but so profound and so necessary.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz speaking about writing a book, if you’re not sure where to start read Cupcake Brown’s book Piece of Cake about her life. She was in a gang for a while growing up. It might help you be able to piece your story together. I definitely would read your story
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
You’re a good person at heart I can tell from the messages you post here at the group.

Street gangs are a little foreign to me where I live but I do read a little about them and correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve read that kids don’t always have a choice whether or not to join. Youre in and that’s that. And it’s situational too. If your parents bring you up in a gang neighbourhood, you’re likely to grow up and be in a gang. Parents can’t be so naive as to say okay I’m going to bring my kid up here in this gang neighbourhood because the rent is cheaper and this is where my family is and my kid won’t join a gang when he’s older. Parents play a role in this too.

Five years ago one of my twins was getting into a lot of trouble at school and hanging out with a bad crowd. One boy in particular was so bad he was in grade 8 and a drug dealer and in and out of juvy. He was a new friend to my son but the more my son told me about him and the more I heard from other moms, I knew I had to get my kid away from him. They did stop hanging out because my son knew he was a bad influence and my son is very naive. Perfect target. I sent my son away for two months up north to summer camp to get away from this kid. At that point they didn’t go to the same school but after he came home from camp he said he heard this boy was going to be attending his school in September. I knew in my heart of hearts I had to get my kid away from him so I switched his school for September. He was angry but he understood why. Well it was the best thing I ever did because by early October this bad kid and my sons friend, a nice boy I knew well, were arrested for death threats and possession of weapon. I know if I hadn’t switched my son to a different school he would have possibly been involved.
@Jenny1234 well I'm glad you noticed it & kept your son away from influences like that. When you're young it's easy to mimic somebody because you think they're cool. I thought stuff like that was cool when I was young too but I remember my first time getting arrested on campus was actually really embarrassing for me. The whole school chanted my name all loud like it was cool & that made me feel worse.

If I had to guess though, I would say your son is probably gonna end up pretty wise in identifying that kind of danger as he gets older thanks to you teaching him
AuRevoir · 36-40, M
“I shot someone who started shooting at me first..”

Idk.. that’s just a natural response..

Fight or Flight mode isn’t “flight only” that’s ingrained in us.. we enter states of “fight” any time we’re feeling threatened..

Our minds just pick the one we believe to be most effective, even if they’re faulty to some degree..
@AuRevoir well.. it's a natural response if you're someone who carries a gun. Most of the reason I felt afraid to post this is because I know how people here feel about guns. So the fact that I had a gun available to return fire in the first place could be controversial. I guess I sorta fear being hated.. because I'm really an understanding person & I don't hate anybody back.

But I was definitely protecting myself. I've been shot at many times in my life.. this was just the first time I had a gun to shoot back with
AuRevoir · 36-40, M
@ChiefWalksWith40oz People can hate guns and blame guns all they want, but just like pillagers and plunderers back in the day could take down an entire village with just a few swords and proper training.. Nothings changed throughout history.. Everything can be used to harm or to protect.. It's simply a matter of intent..

Here's a fork.. do you eat with it or stab someones eye out with it..

Here's a car, do you drive on the road with it, or on the sidewalk where tons of pedestrians are with it..

Here's a peanut, do you eat it, or lace it into someones food who has deathly allergic reactions to them..

There's been so much death throughout history, through so many means.. it's an oddity that people think guns are what's to be feared.. I fear people.. People make the guns because they can use the guns.. If they don't have guns, they'll use bombs.. If they don't have bombs they'll use poisonous gas.. If they don't have that, they throw acid on your face.. If they don't have that, they're a serial killer who takes over 20 victims through a slow burn, rather than a shooting spree.. And how do you stop someone on a shooting spree.. with a gun.. How do you stop someone who would be running over people on a sidewalk if you didn't have a gun, well then with the same thing they're using.. with a car... How do you stop someone if they were using a sword maiming people and cutting them down on the streets, if there were no guns.. Well likely you'd have to find a steel object yourself..

I can understand peoples ideals for the wish on lacking guns.. But ideals hardly meet realities expectations.. And its surprising they also don't factor in that violence originates from violent hearts.. That's the part of their logic I don't understand.. I would only judge someone if their intent was malicious and without proper reason for doing so.. nothing more..
@AuRevoir well I don't partake in the gun conversion here but I can see both sides of it. & I think some of us have the right to feel differently than others. Like personally I'd rather keep one because of how many times I've been shot at when I didn't start it. I think it's safer for me to have one than not to. But that doesn't mean it's the same for everyone
SW-User
I can’t imagine that life of always being on alert and never feeling safe. I don’t judge you for your past, I think living that lifestyle around those people your only choice is shoot or be shot. I think who you are as a person always comes through, you show kindness, compassion and empathy. I have no doubt you’re a good person
@SW-User honestly when I tell the stories, I find it interesting that most people don't relate. In fact some people immediately don't believe me. Some people think I just make stories up.

I've always tried to show compassion with people but I think I'm better now than I was before. I think I was always a good person heart but my actions didn't always reflect that
SW-User
@ChiefWalksWith40oz it’s just people being from completely different worlds. People on here were terrified that I would go and walk along the beach by myself at 2am lol there is literally no danger here.

I think it shows you’re a good guy inside, we’ve all got a past. I’ve done some pretty messed up things that I’m not proud of, you just can’t worry about what people think of you, you just have to be ok with yourself and the choices you are making now
@SW-User I'm replying late but I'm barely catching up to my notifications now lol. But thanks for contributing. & Also for talking to me in general. You're such a cool person to know
BlueVeins · 22-25
I'm just glad that you're alive. We all are, to some extent, a product of our environment... the fact that you changed when you saw the consequences in the most visceral terms possible proves that that was never the real you.
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
Thank you for telling your stories. I can't imagine some of the trauma you've experienced as you were coming into adulthood. We're all lucky you're alive and get to see how you've evolved. You [i]are[/i] a good one, and I'm sure your truth is going to help someone someday feel less alone in this world.
@Starcrossed I wanna help my future kids more than anybody 🥺 I hope that I can teach them to fight for themselves but mostly to love. I used to wish I could die but now I just wish that everything I've learned isn't for nothing. If it helps one person then I'm happy
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz I'm sure you will 🤗

They're little fuckin' sponges and model however you are with glaring magnification. LOL especially imperfections and things you realize you most need to work on in yourself. At least that's my experience ;)

Future mini chief will model caring for others, empathy, forgiveness, patience, kindness, perseverance... I'm sure they'll be an awesome little shit.
@Starcrossed lmao I think I'd have a good time with kids 😅 that's always been the only thing I wanted out of life. I tell myself that my life is a sacrifice for others & I think of them the most even though they're not born yet.
But thank you 🥺🤗
SW-User
The remorse and regret you feel about leading that past life already shows a lot about you.
You are not a bad person. If you're bad, then you're just as bad as me, or other roach fearing people out there.

In some ways, you were put in places that you were meant to be at that time. The best part is you had the sense to get out of it when you were not meant to be there anymore.

Roaches unite!
@SW-User well I stepped out of the life but I'm not fully out. I'm always who I am.
But regardless of how much I regret, I'm glad I am who I am. & I wouldn't be that without what I've lived with
SW-User
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Then that is great. Never lose your identity bro. 🤙 I am not judging you, i never judge. I think it's super that you accept who you are, and you accept that you dont fully belong in that situation anymore.
Enough of saving others who are throwing their life away. Cheers!
@SW-User thanks man 🤙 I don't fully belong to anything in life I'm kinda just existing most of the time 😅 but that's alright. Cheers 🍻
NickiHijab · F
This was honest. Thanks for sharing it.
By all means, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but I ask to gain perspective, not to judge.

Growing up, did you feel like you had any other choice but to lead a lifestyle like this?
@NickiHijab Well.. yeah. I think I felt like I had no choice. I felt like that's all I was meant for.

Idk how many of my other posts you've seen but I've talked about my life here & there. To sum it up, I faced a lot of types of abuse, suffered it, witnessed it. But I think certain things I've seen & dealt with made me feel so much anger. & The fact that I felt so unprotected made me feel like I need to protect myself & everybody around me.

I've spent my life looking out for everyone & never giving a shit about myself. I didn't care about my own life because I wanted to die anyway. I joined a gang at a young age.. most likely for the feeling of family & protection. So being as loyal as I am, I've always looked out for my people. I'm there for my people. My family more than anything but I also never left the gang I'm from. So I help in any way I can.. but mentally. I'm not considered "active" anymore. I'm pretty much an OG. Even at my young age
NickiHijab · F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz that makes a lot of sense. I'm sorry you've had to experience all this at such a young age. No one should have to live a life consumed by fear of being or witnessing others being hurt.

Thing is, you have all these admirable qualities that you channelled in the only way that was accessible to you. I can't judge you for that.
It's interesting however that you decided to leave this life behind at a young age. You don't usually see that. People find identity and purpose in gangs to the extent where any alternative lifestyle threatens their conditioning and being. They'll hold onto it for as long as they can.

What was it about this event that was more of a wake up call then others you've experienced?
@NickiHijab honestly, I've just never felt like I fit into just one category. My teachers in school told me I was smart.. I was top of my class every school year in every subject. But I also was a stoner & a gang member who didn't give a shit & hardly showed up to school. I dropped out because I got kicked out of too many schools & had too many honors classes to get credit for them anymore. Lower schools wouldn't accept my honors credits.

What changed me was the fact that I was tired of losing. I had a pregnancy scare at that same time & it freaked me out knowing that I might get locked up & not get to raise my kid.. I still gotta get locked up but I haven't turned myself in yet. It just sucks living a life like that & you get exhausted
SatanBurger · 36-40, F
To be honest, I'm somewhat Buddhist, I say somewhat because there's aspects I disagree with
so don't take this literally but I believe that as long as people look to actively better themselves, I can't really judge at the same time, at least for karma's sake. Karma isn't really spiritual but a law of cause and consequence, the only way to break the cycle is to accept consequences but also actively change. It won't change the way people look at you but you individually are better for it and can have a better life for yourself.

I do judge occasionally but I only judge if the person remains the same despite saying they want to change because talk is cheap or if they display red flags like they're manipulating the conversation by using "change" to get away with something. I don't like that but that doesn't seem to be what you're doing.
eyeno · M
Hey Chief, you should delete this Post, Its admitting to a crime.
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
@eyeno it's not murder if he is defending himself.
eyeno · M
@Dainbramadge only the courts can decide that.
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
@eyeno well that's not true because he decided that.
If the account is true, which there's no reason not to believe it, then he was defending himself what do you need a court for?
Thank you for penning your words. I'll never judge you for writing what is healing for you.
@thewindupbirdchronicles thank you buddy 🙏 I'm surprised nobody downvoted me already
@ChiefWalksWith40oz They are taken up by another issue, and honestly you do write well. I hope whoever questions, there is a lot of questionable topics at hand, they decide to see you as being honest and open?
@thewindupbirdchronicles hopefully they would. Even if I don't agree with someone I usually like to talk anyway & understand better. Not everyone is like that though
@TurtleEclipseOfTheHeart how dare you 😂 im offended lol
@ChiefWalksWith40oz It’s what you get 😩😩
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
Me and the boys show up to back you up

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
I can’t see you as a bad person. I think your life growing up didn’t afford you to make better choices. That must have been so scary to be in that position and having to look over your shoulder like that.

I am really glad that you got away from that. I think you should write a book about your life. I would be very interested in reading it.
@iamonfire696 sorry after I woke up I forgot to keep up with this post lol. But thanks.. I do like writing but if I did write a book it would probably be a bit more down the line after I feel like there's more of a resolution to the story.
I appreciate that though thank you 😌
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz of course but I think you should keep it in mind to do.
[quote]I know there's people who will read this & think about what a lowlife piece of shit I am.[/quote]
That ain't me. The way I see it, if you can look back at your past self and be disgusted, you've grown as a person. You've evolved. And the culture in which you grew up didn't exactly give you a chance to be any different until you escaped it.
@LordShadowfire thanks man. I appreciate that. There's things I've done that I would never write... I'm afraid to face it myself. & I hate to make excuses but I feel like I didn't know any other life. I'm a very loving person but I was forced to fight. I was forced to stand up for myself because if I didn't then I would've been beat down

 
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