I'm not sure I really fit in with all of you tbh 😔

I just feel like an outsider trying to fit in somewhere I really don't.

I was on EP from 2012 till the end. Then SW from day 1 til September 2017. I came back 3 months ago & idk.. I kinda feel like I shouldn't have.

A lot of you have built bonds here & even though I remember the majority of you, nobody remembers me & I missed so much of SW's existence in general that I just feel like the 'new kid at school'.

Some of you talk to me & I appreciate that but some of you blatantly ignore me & only talk to the people you know... Which is funny to me because I know you all too. Just none of you know [i]me[/i] anymore 😕

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NotJamieM · 46-50, M

I think you might have left SW at about the same time I got here, so I suspect we missed each other back then But I can say that I've enjoyed those interactions we have had since your return. And in addition to that, there are other posts and comments of your that I've enjoyed reading your thoughts, but just didn't jump in. I totally get how you feel, and I feel the same sometimes. That's mostly why I don't post much on my own these days, but rather respond to otbers'piats that catch my interest somehow.

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@NotJamieM I've had nothing but pleasant interactions with you as well. & That makes sense. I often read a lot of comments even if I don't partake so I kinda get to know people without them even knowing 😂 I just appreciate people's thoughts & opinions on everything. I comment on stuff way more than I post lol

NotJamieM · 46-50, M

@ChiefWalksWith40oz commenting and ending up in random unexpected convos because of it is one of the best things about this place. I really like those stories that you do post because you have a great perspective on things, and it's admirable how you've managed to come out the other end of everything that's been thrown away you in life. It's pretty damn inspiring.

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@NotJamieM that's what I like about this place too. Simply interacting & gaining insight you wouldn't otherwise find. But thanks man, I kinda figured most people wouldn't read my more serious posts & stories. I mostly just joke around here lol but I still write about the serious things because it helps somehow

NotJamieM · 46-50, M

@ChiefWalksWith40oz I think those type of posts are great to read. And a thousand times better than all the arguments about the "usual things", lol. What comes through is how much you appreciate things. I know so many people who have been given so much, and have no appreciation for it.

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@NotJamieM I've noticed when people are given so much, they don't appreciate it because they've never had to live without it. I lived my life without most things & I lost everything over & over throughout. At one of my lowest points I was homeless, living in an abandoned building, selling drugs, & that was around the time SW first opened. I was 19. I used to post stories about my life & some people would support me, some people judged me because I fought a lot back then, did drugs, & I wrote about it.

I've just always enjoyed writing & I feel like I have something different to offer here than most other people. I'm a documented gang member where I'm from but I love to learn, write, & teach. I'm not a role model by any means by I have a lot to say

NotJamieM · 46-50, M

@ChiefWalksWith40oz you're a good writer and you have a good, and needed,, message. Keep at it!