What is something you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish I could kill the heart and become cold. In time, I'll become the monster people want me to be.

I don't want to be the guy who's empathetic or the guy who gives his heart to end up shattered.

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OogieBoogie · F

Are you sure?

Do you want to be dead inside, doing extreme things just to feel some sense of emotion?

It starts off fun ....being free of conscience and empathy.....but a few years later you realise...nothing makes you feel alive. You disconnect even from yourself.

To the point....you'll do ANYTHING, just to feel again.

We never escape pain ....we just change its parameters😞🤷‍♀️

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie Having been broken the way I am, I don't see any other option. It's 3:22 AM and I'm still awake. I would normally be drinking to numb it away but I didn't.

I'm so broken and someone broke me further today that I almost took my life away. I'm broken. I never want to feel anything anymore.

OogieBoogie · F

@Beatbox34 ohhhh....thats not a good way to be.

I get the hurt ....and the desire to just 'not want to live'.

But life is a continuing wheel of change.

Nothing last forever...not even misery and desperation.

Try and hold on ...sadness brings perspective to happiness.

even people who have everything still weep.

Its sad to hear you are suffering so badly right now 😞

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@OogieBoogie I'm really trying. I tried so hard for the past 30 years and honestly I realize I have a heart. The heart feels so much.

But if I didn't then it would be different. I never went to that extent ever but for me to consider it being at the brink of it didn't seem right.