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Am I selfish or not knowing if I want children?

I’m in my mid twenties and have been told I should start thinking about children by my partners parents. They have one grandchild who without been harsh, they don’t shut up about it, every conversation has the child involved even if it isn’t remotely about it!

Me and my partner aren’t fussed if we have kids or not and both are quite impulsive and like to do what we want, I feel bad for not knowing if I want them, and feel slightly like I’ll be looked down on if I don’t.
I’m fed up of all the baby talk it drives me mad!
SW-User
I think it’s selfish to actually have children a lot of the times my parents couldn’t look after me they didn’t have the money or the mental stability to properly care for me. A lot of parents these days have no idea how to properly care for children
Fluffybull · F
@SW-User Agree! It's so much more selfish to have children and neglect them or dump them on other people all the time, than it is to make a thoughtful decision that now is not the time to make the biggest decision of your life.
NotNowJoanna · 56-60, F
It’s personal choice and besides it’s you and your partner that will have to do the hard work.
At the age you are there’s really no rush.
You are NOT selfish. Having kids is a personal decision and its no one else's business. It's also a huge commitment, the biggest you'll ever make. It's also rather expensive. Don't rush it; it sounds like you'll have 5 or 6 years to make up your mind.

Having said all that, my wife & I decided to have kids in our 30's and it's far and away the most rewarding thing in our lives. Gave up a ton of freedom and spontaneity, poured tons of money into child rearing, and I wouldn't change a thing. I guess what I'm really saying here is this: if you decide, then decide whole-hog. Being half-assed about it would be the biggest mistake.
Fluffybull · F
It's no-ones business apart from yourself and your partner.
Get a job at a school you will never want to have children ever
SW-User
@ExperienceDLT that’s so true 😹
@SW-User yep
meggie · F
You are still young and have the choice to do other things before settling down with kids. Do what makes you happy, not others.
Teslin · M
It's completely a personal choice between you and your partner. When (if) you are ready, you will know.
SW-User
You’re not selfish whatsoever if you’re not ready for kids or even don’t want to have them.
Those that are looking down on you can get over it.
Tracos · 51-55, M
not at all: your life, your body, your choice, your responsibility
It's not selfish, it's your choice
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
Not selfish at all. It’s selfish to have kids just for the sake of having them.

 
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