How do you heal from narcissistic abuse and become a normal person?

I was raised like a servant to my dad. My mom taught me how to be incompetent. Growing up I have anxiety, no confidence in myself, depression, and lack of social skills. I feel so damaged beyond repair in my early 30s now. I have nothing going for me. No relationship, no career, nothing!

I thought the right way to fix myself is by going out there to live fearlessly and to have minimal contact with my narcissistic parents unless I absolutely have to.

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Suggestmeone · M Best Comment

No matter about how your parents crapped on your life, it is YOUR LIFE. You are actually in a good spot now to kiss them off and look around you. You're just in 30's, you have tons of time to become and do anything. You're not chucked into a little empty box, you are out in the sun and able to finally be you. Don't fall back into their world, you are out of it so give yourself credit for existing under that bullshit and look on the bright side. Thats where you are, not in the darkness anymore. I have remade my life a lot of times. I was a contractor/ builder/ designer for my entire adult life. That industry goes great then totally dies leaving alot of contractors in a hole, broke and down again. I would go thru the "Wo is me!" Crap but always, always, bounced back , smarter and better prepared for the next downturn. Never let it make you feel totally defeated, you are just between careers. You'll look back at this time and one day see it was the beginning of you greater life. Seriously, you'll make it thru fine, you've gone thru the bad now head for your own time.

Dethmoore · 31-35, M

@Suggestmeone thanks so much for reading and sharing a bit about yourself. Although they don’t have an impact on my life like before, some things still get stuck with me along with guilt and shame of who I am. I may be late to life, but I will try to get over it for a fresh start. I appreciate your words.

Dethmoore · 31-35, M

@Suggestmeone thanks again. I thought about what you said while showering and I realized that I still have a lot of years ahead of me as your comment popped in my head. I felt so trapped and living a failure of a life but 30 years of working and living is still a very long time to fix myself.

turnedtostone · 56-60, F

You can do it.
See if your community mental health has life coaching.
You may need to break from parents,that's sad,but if you can't function around them a break might be needed.
Don't expect perfection,be willing to learn new ways of being,and it will be good.
One day and one step at a time.

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