I am always stuck in the middle between wanting to be the nicest person anyone ever met and the kind of person who doesn’t tolerate any BS from anyone

My friend, she’s an angel. A kind soul everyone loves respects and admires. I wish I could be more like her but Idk how nice people stand up for themselves against jerks. I feel it’s important to sometimes not let be known that you’re nice. I am usually known for being more assertive, not always everyone’s cup of tea. But I wish more people were happy to be around me.

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MoonlightLullaby

It's entirely possible. Trust me....
Kudos on realizing your weakness and trying to improve it. None of us are immune to needing an evaluation of self, then working on ourselves. 🌷

Enonnianoj · F

Hmmm well we can be the nicest person but still stick up for ourselves. I recently did that. And no it didnt turn out good. But i just said i dont appreciate the attitude you just gave to me. And that person did a default sorry im just so busy , blah blah blah.

Im a very nice caring person and i did not deserve that.

But honestly people who stand up for themselves they still are kind people.

Max41 · 26-30, M

At a time you can either be nice , or you can feel that you are nice .

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@Max41 I’m not inherently “nice” to people, although I do feel you get further being nice in life, rather than being a jerk about anything…. In most cases I can and will stick up for myself though even at the risk of being seen as no so nice.

Max41 · 26-30, M

@DoubleRings It is nice you may stick for yourself and not behave as a jerk .

SomeMichGuy · M

I think your next-to-last sentence answered your own last sentence.

krf336 · M

Why cant you be both?

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@krf336 idk I see the “nice” ones even the averagely nice ones get walked all over at work by their bosses and sometimes even by their own family. I think I know that my boss at least wouldn’t pick on me and is generally supportive. I’m one of the very very few they support and don’t cop an attitude with and it’s mostly bc (I think) they already know I won’t accept it. Not that anyone should.

One coworker told me her parents have been dead for 8 years and she still hasn’t gotten her inheritance from her sibling who’s an executor. There’s no reason for it she just hasn’t. She doesn’t want to confront them. It’s a sticky situation but that’s negligence! Idk if it were me, I’d go to court if I had to but she meh, doesn’t want to say anything. I think that’s wrong.

krf336 · M

@DoubleRings thats very wrong. And illegal, i am pretty sure that person is breaking the law. Especially if there will be estate taxes involved because those continue to accrue.
Being nice is fine, until it starts to hurt you financially, mentally or physically.

BackyardShaman · 61-69, M

People are dangerous it’s best to make sure they know not to mess with you.

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