I Want to Be a Better Person

sometimes my friends approach or consult me like i'm some life coach or something... i like helping people, but they never know that my life is also a fixer-upper... as much as people are trying to deal with their own dramas and dilemmas, i am also trying to be a better person myself. but this is just something that i keep in the inside... i never speak of my weaknesses and problems outside, i always pretend that i am strong and that nothing's wrong... i dont know... i just find it hard to say things like, "I am sad," even if i really am feeling so down. i can't seem to utter, "I am feeling little," though i clearly hear this voice inside telling me that my self-esteem has already run out. i can't dare accept negativities. i always say the opposite out loud. sometimes i feel like i am a fraud or just denial. but i can't accept that either, i'll always prefer calling it just me being positive.

Winterwanderer · 26-30, M

You're speaking openly now, so I assume you're talking mostly about people you have more of a connection to.

Maybe you're afraid that if you put your emotions into others hands, they'll treat it carelessly? Or maybe you're almost certain that's what they'll do? Maybe you have been open before & this has been the case, maybe repeatedly. It's hard to trust people you don't honestly believe to be worthy of your trust (and all that that means).

Or maybe I'm grasping at straws, am I appealing to something real?