Does "bad luck" seem to plague you and follow you wherever you go with seemingly no end in sight? [I Am Afraid of Failure]
Poll - Total Votes: 9
All the time
Most of the time
Some of the time
None of the time. My life is peachy perfect.
You may vote on multiple answers.
That stems from my childhood. My parents, classmates, schoolmates and other adults would blast me out whenever I failed. I felt lower than a snake's belly. I struggled for years with a VERY low self esteem and felt I was worthless as a milk bucket under a BULL.
When I ventured off to college, I did the same with myself. Whenever I did something the wrong way or out of carelessness or even when accidents happened, I'd bang my fist against the wall or some other object which happened to be "in the line of fire." It took me the better part of two decades to even begin to think even a little something of myself.
Today, things are a tad better but I still frustrate myself and have a hard time dealing with it.
Even this past weekend, I stumbled around in the dark to find the light switch of the dinning room. I turned on the light, grabbed the thing I was looking for, turned the light off and in my rush for the door, ran right into my cement wall, braking my glasses and cutting the side of my eye and upper cheek. I was so upset, I screamed and banged my hand against the wall. I'm sure the wall didn't feel a thing but I was bleeding. After placing direct pressure on the wound, as I learned in jr high school, the bleeding stopped but the area swelled. I placed a band-aid on it and waited until morning to check it. I felt a sense of relief to know it was only a scratch, howbeit a three deep ones.
I am improving at accepting myself "warts and all" though these things happen to me almost on a daily basis.
When I ventured off to college, I did the same with myself. Whenever I did something the wrong way or out of carelessness or even when accidents happened, I'd bang my fist against the wall or some other object which happened to be "in the line of fire." It took me the better part of two decades to even begin to think even a little something of myself.
Today, things are a tad better but I still frustrate myself and have a hard time dealing with it.
Even this past weekend, I stumbled around in the dark to find the light switch of the dinning room. I turned on the light, grabbed the thing I was looking for, turned the light off and in my rush for the door, ran right into my cement wall, braking my glasses and cutting the side of my eye and upper cheek. I was so upset, I screamed and banged my hand against the wall. I'm sure the wall didn't feel a thing but I was bleeding. After placing direct pressure on the wound, as I learned in jr high school, the bleeding stopped but the area swelled. I placed a band-aid on it and waited until morning to check it. I felt a sense of relief to know it was only a scratch, howbeit a three deep ones.
I am improving at accepting myself "warts and all" though these things happen to me almost on a daily basis.
61-69, M
