Have you ever been with someone who eventually made you unhappy?
They start out loving and thoughtful but after a while they're not very kind at all?
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WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@ScreamingFox I don’t think it’s always that people are “switching it up”…. I think at first we may “fill in the blanks” about people we develop feelings for; form ideas of how/who they are based off what we have witnessed from them so far. The thing is, people shift and change, and sometimes grow apart. People make mistakes and sometimes that creates resentment and reconciliation is not possible, and if communication stops, then the connection becomes doomed
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@ScreamingFox also I think sometimes if a person become comfortable in their relationship, they may stop trying to nurture and take care of it… and then it dies
@WaryWitchWandering when I got divorced it was very obvious and mature. We realized we grew apart and that was that.
The relationships I've been in since, people give you their best for a little while, then they're hanging on you to make everything better. Then they're angry at you because you can't and retaliate by mind fecking you with lies, manipulation and mood swings. Then you confront them and they cry about how messed up they are and how much they need you, but I don't think they want me at all. I could be anybody, as long as I give them what they want and don't come to them when I need anything...
Why is marriage a thing if people grow apart and treat each other like crap for it? I just don't get it. When my marriage ended it was so simple, everything I've tried to nurture since then has turned out to be poison covered in sugar.
I'm so confused. I feel distressed about it, then just so relieved I'm not in any situation.
The relationships I've been in since, people give you their best for a little while, then they're hanging on you to make everything better. Then they're angry at you because you can't and retaliate by mind fecking you with lies, manipulation and mood swings. Then you confront them and they cry about how messed up they are and how much they need you, but I don't think they want me at all. I could be anybody, as long as I give them what they want and don't come to them when I need anything...
Why is marriage a thing if people grow apart and treat each other like crap for it? I just don't get it. When my marriage ended it was so simple, everything I've tried to nurture since then has turned out to be poison covered in sugar.
I'm so confused. I feel distressed about it, then just so relieved I'm not in any situation.
WaryWitchWandering · 36-40, F
@ScreamingFox I wish I had answers for all that… some magic…
I’m thinking because you are so caring/passionate/giving…those people decided to take more than they could give (maybe even unknowingly).
I’m thinking because you are so caring/passionate/giving…those people decided to take more than they could give (maybe even unknowingly).
greensnacks · F
@ScreamingFox You're trapped and yes you know everything yourself as I see.
He does that because you feed him and because you allow him. You're non human to these type of people. You're just like a resource. In fact, you ARE the resource he needs when he's got nothing better to do. The pretending he does it's very typical of a narc.
I recently fell on my ribs. My estranged biological sister sent me a get well card, with a bag of fritus and in the card it was saying if you need anything, transportation, let me know. Seems kind and thoughtful, no? Well, she also took my mother away (she uses her for physical labor) while I was in excruciating pain from the fall the day after I fell, because she had "work getaway weekend" she already booked and "couldn't" postpone or cancel.
Do you understand? She only wants to be PERCEIVED as a kind and thoughtful person, pretends to be nice and caring, not actually do it. As long as SHE doesn't need mom, I can have her, regardless of how hurt I am. I needed mom those 3 days the most, because I could barely do anything with my injury.
It's the exactly same with every narcissistic person. They can be covert or grandiose narcs, they can do the steps (they do this shit because they don't know that's not how you human, and because they care only about themselves) but all of them do the steps the same.
So, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a shrink, but what he does looks like that to me. Might be some other mental disorder, but that's not on you to ever solve, or help, or change. You have right to the best for you, and if you haven't seen better, I urge you to look for it in yourself. Ever since I started treating myself like I treat the people I love, my standards for how people treat me went up. And continue going up. Which is great for people with standards below the ground.
Lastly, here is this channel of this great psychologist, if you want to see the narc tactics, of applicable.
[media=https://youtu.be/d5VtTHFnkXk]
You seem like a lovely, nice person, with issues, but hey, who doesn't have issues, and are not damaged goods. Remember that. You're a wonderful woman and a caring mother and I wish you could just see that whether in yourself, your happy boy you're rasing(no bad human can raise a happy child imo) or others. The horse of the neighbor you kept company. Bad people don't do that. ✨
He does that because you feed him and because you allow him. You're non human to these type of people. You're just like a resource. In fact, you ARE the resource he needs when he's got nothing better to do. The pretending he does it's very typical of a narc.
I recently fell on my ribs. My estranged biological sister sent me a get well card, with a bag of fritus and in the card it was saying if you need anything, transportation, let me know. Seems kind and thoughtful, no? Well, she also took my mother away (she uses her for physical labor) while I was in excruciating pain from the fall the day after I fell, because she had "work getaway weekend" she already booked and "couldn't" postpone or cancel.
Do you understand? She only wants to be PERCEIVED as a kind and thoughtful person, pretends to be nice and caring, not actually do it. As long as SHE doesn't need mom, I can have her, regardless of how hurt I am. I needed mom those 3 days the most, because I could barely do anything with my injury.
It's the exactly same with every narcissistic person. They can be covert or grandiose narcs, they can do the steps (they do this shit because they don't know that's not how you human, and because they care only about themselves) but all of them do the steps the same.
So, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a shrink, but what he does looks like that to me. Might be some other mental disorder, but that's not on you to ever solve, or help, or change. You have right to the best for you, and if you haven't seen better, I urge you to look for it in yourself. Ever since I started treating myself like I treat the people I love, my standards for how people treat me went up. And continue going up. Which is great for people with standards below the ground.
Lastly, here is this channel of this great psychologist, if you want to see the narc tactics, of applicable.
[media=https://youtu.be/d5VtTHFnkXk]
You seem like a lovely, nice person, with issues, but hey, who doesn't have issues, and are not damaged goods. Remember that. You're a wonderful woman and a caring mother and I wish you could just see that whether in yourself, your happy boy you're rasing(no bad human can raise a happy child imo) or others. The horse of the neighbor you kept company. Bad people don't do that. ✨