I Have Low Self-esteem

At the gym, I was in a conversation with another guy. A girl (woman) came by where we were and the other guy invited her into the conversation. The three of us talked to each other. Midway into the conversation, the girl asked, "So, what's your name." The other guy told her. Certain she was not talking to me or would not even be interested in knowing me or anything about me, I stared intently down at the ground like a trained sniper focused on his target. She said, "And, what's your name?" I meekly looked up and told her. She smiled... and I smiled. We all continued talking for awhile and then the other guy left. I started to do push-ups and she finished her stretching; I didn't say a word. As I finished, she got up and said, "Have a good workout." I spoke up, "It was nice meeting you..." And, I smiled. She smiled back.

[u](Self-) Assessment[/u]:

1. A year or so ago, I was distressed because I couldn't seem to talk to anyone. No one was interested in talking to me. I was an outcast.

2. The thought the girl was even talking to me, let alone would want to know my name, never crossed my mind. I was absolutely, completely, 100% certain I was invisible and worthless to her - even though I was engaged in the conversation the three of us were having.

3. I no longer seem to have a problem with talking to anyone in a general conversation and when I do, I do not have to "prepare and rehearse" for it. That should be a milestone achievement, but I am obsessed with how the stink of "loser" is on me that I think so little of myself. I consciously looked down to avoid the awkwardness of my certainty that she did not want to know my name or acknowledge I was part of the conversation.

4. I feel worthless.